Beauty and the Beast

The Prince was a vain egomaniac with an obsession with his looks. He had fucked most of the women in his kingdom and still found no one worthy of being his princess. That didn’t stop him from continuing to fuck, under the premise of finding the right girl. One day, a beautiful enchantress came to the Castle, wearing nothing but her long blonde hair strategically placed over her round breasts. She asked the Prince if he would have dinner with her. The Prince agreed but before the two reached the dining room, the prince grabbed her by her hair and viciously raped her in the hall, pounding his long, royal cock into her tight cunt, causing her great pain. Just as he was about to climax into her, she disappeared from beneath him. Instead she floated above him, cursing his wickedness and sentencing him to becoming a hideous beast, saying that since he was not willing to get to know…

Posted On

Kaley Cuoco’s Snapshots

I was wandering around my girlfriend’s home, trying out my new phone and its recording capabilities. By the time I got to the bathroom, I was vaguely aware of my girlfriend walking around in there, but it wasn’t enough to make me stop. The door was open, so I figured nothing extremely private was going on. Then I walked in on my girlfriend pulling up her underwear, just in time to catch her naked pussy on my camera phone. Her pink top and her black sweatpants hanging below her ankles kept any more nudity from being shown, but I still got part of it without trying for one second. And my girlfriend is Big Bang Theory star Kaley Cuoco. Perhaps I buried the lead there. In that case, I should explain just to be safe that by the time you have read this, she got married. And not to me. She didn’t break up because I accidentally filmed part of…

Posted On

Special Guest Star – Kat Dennings

“I missed this,” I thought I heard. With my face buried in Kat Denning’s bursting cleavage, I could be forgiven for not hearing her right. Nevertheless, I chose to believe I heard her right and said, “Me too,” although I probably made it hard for her to hear me. “Well, doy,” I heard a little better. At that point, I finally lifted my head out of her chest, and she used her lips to cover mine instead of talking some more. I relaxed onto the ratty fake TV couch of Kat’s ratty, fake TV apartment set, while Kat laid on top of me. She was still in her yellow, red striped TV waitress uniform from 2 Broke Girls, the show we both worked on – although she did much more than me. For this first day back on the set for Season Four, we were doing what we did after the first day of shooting in Seasons Two and Three….

Posted On

Pre-Oscar Night with Amy Adams

An Academy Award nominated actress was fucking me in the back seat of my car. On the day before the Oscars. Or so she told me at my favorite café this afternoon. She said her name was Amy Adams, but it didn’t ring a distinctive bell. If I’d seen that red hair and those big blue eyes on a big screen, though, I probably would have recognized it, but I didn’t. She said she was nominated for a movie called ‘Junebug’ but that didn’t ring a bell either. She said that she was a big bundle of nerves the night before going to the Oscars for the first time. And she needed to unwind. Or at least give herself some hot memory to compose herself before millions of people. That part I did get. Especially when I drove her to an alley and she started kissing me. I had enough composure to get us into my backseat first, where ‘Amy’…

Posted On

Jennifer Lawrence’s Wild Weekend

This little getaway was the best idea I ever had. I knew that even before I saw Jennifer Lawrence in that one piece, cleavage baring red swimsuit before we went into my pool today. Always best to be sure, though. Though we hadn’t been together for too long, it was fortunate that we started out while her schedule was open for once. As such, it was far easier to set up this little weekend getaway at my house. A little late Friday afternoon swim in my pool seemed like the perfect way to start. Leaving aside all the erections I had to hide both in and out of the pool. Especially inside, when Jennifer jumped around in the water, swam near me in the water, and generally got wet in the water. As if it wasn’t easy enough to think of those hypnotic boobs popping out just a little more from that suit – since they were certainly wet enough…

Posted On

Rose Byrne – The Tourist

I should have known it would end this way. Things here in Sydney, Australia were just too perfect. First I go out and close the major deal my company sent me out here for. Then one of my Australian counterparts offers me a spare pass for a movie premiere held here tonight. What’s more, it’s for a movie I already saw in the States a month ago – but I didn’t need to tell him that. So of course, my luck has to end with me walking on the road at just the wrong time. The right time for me to get knocked on my ass by a limo. It couldn’t have been going that fast, which is how I survived – and how only my hip and right side really hurts. If my head wasn’t in the clouds, I would have avoided this easily. But here we are. And here I was trying to roll myself off the road….

Posted On

Kim Kardashian’s Comeback

I didn’t ask to be sucked down the rabbit hole of “Kimye.” Hell, it was the nanny agency’s idea. I don’t even know how they picked my agency, to be honest. Yet for some reason, Kanye West and Kim Kardashian called my agency to find a male nanny for their new baby – North West, as all bloggers and comedians know – and I won the lottery. For the next two-and-a-half months, I was driven privately to Kris Jenner’s mansion, where the new family was staying. Although Kanye wasn’t letting the Kardashian reality show cameras in to film the family, I still had to sign my share of non-disclosure forms. I worked in shifts with a female nanny, while trying not to listen too much to the parents – both for the sake of my job and my sanity. While half the world would love – or hate to love – listening to them every day, the other half would…

Posted On

Actress Goes Anal – with AnnaSophia Robb

It was a nice, normal night out in Long Island – a nice night to walk down the streets with a friend. A friend who was filming a television show here several months out of the year. A friend who was starring in this TV show – even if it was on the CW and was a prequel series. A friend who happened to be AnnaSophia Robb, of several Disney and young adult films, but currently of “The Carrie Diaries.” Only about over a million people knew about her and her show, according to the Nielsens. I wouldn’t have heard of it if they didn’t film in town, and if she didn’t come to my coffee shop every day, and if we hadn’t become actual friends for the last three months. But even if regular people didn’t know her or her show, a lot of Internet people did. If only because they made gifs starring her most famous body part….

Posted On

Emma Stone’s Sex Tape

Once the red light on the camera went on, I went to stand in front of the bed. I was confident the camera had me – and the tied up white robe I was wearing – in full view. With that assuring me, I went on with my introduction. “Hello. If this is only being watched by future me in the future, you know who I am,” I said. “If the worst has happened and other people are watching this….I don’t know if you know me. But you probably know my….co-star, and that’s why you tracked this tape down. But if you’re not that good, I’m more comfortable bringing her out here.” I reached my hand out and gave a signal, without looking over. Given how much I stared when I first saw….this person tonight, I didn’t want to come off as a slack jawed idiot at the very start of this tape. But it probably couldn’t have been avoided…

Posted On

Yvonne Strahovski – Comic Con Virgin

I stumbled into the lobby of the Hilton San Diego Bayfront Hotel in San Diego, but not out of being drunk. Not in the alcoholic sense. Whatever kind of drunk you can get from your first day at your first Comic Con, this was what I was on. It took me long enough to take in the regular spectacle, before I actually got to attend my first panel. In fact, it was the last one for “Dexter” to honor its ongoing final season. As if that wasn’t enough when it was over, I got my way through a crowd of autograph seekers and got a signature from “Dexter” femme fatale Yvonne Strahovski. I spent the first minute in my lobby chair studying that signature, then the next few going over all my other new memorabilia. I went back to the autograph as I heard someone walking nearby, then heard someone plop into the chair next to me. I turned my…

Posted On