Emma Stone’s Sex Tape

Once the red light on the camera went on, I went to stand in front of the bed. I was confident the camera had me – and the tied up white robe I was wearing – in full view. With that assuring me, I went on with my introduction.

“Hello. If this is only being watched by future me in the future, you know who I am,” I said. “If the worst has happened and other people are watching this….I don’t know if you know me. But you probably know my….co-star, and that’s why you tracked this tape down. But if you’re not that good, I’m more comfortable bringing her out here.”

I reached my hand out and gave a signal, without looking over. Given how much I stared when I first saw….this person tonight, I didn’t want to come off as a slack jawed idiot at the very start of this tape. But it probably couldn’t have been avoided – especially when she arrived in the frame.

She, of course, being my current girlfriend and future breakout movie star, Emma Stone. Wearing nothing but a red robe on herself.

“Hello, future audience. Whether it’s just us or the good people at TMZ,” Emma said with her soon-to-be well known biting wit. If she was nervous, and I had no doubt she was, she was hiding it well like the pro she was.

“Okay, so if you’ll permit me to act like a big headed tool for a moment,” Emma went on. “As of now, its summer 2010, and all signs point to my career really taking off in the fall. So before I hit the next level of stardom, I wanted to get embarrassing stuff like this out of the way. While I’m still under the radar and still sane enough to keep it a secret.”

It was good logic, or at least good enough to stop us from coming to our senses. “So, the most embarrassing and safest thing I can cross off at this stage of my career? You guessed it. Sex tape. With my summer 2010 boyfriend,” Emma gestured to me.

“Hello again,” I got back into the mix.

“Now then, he’s forfeited his rights to keep this tape. So if someone turns it over to the blogosphere anyway, it’ll probably be more my bad,” Emma explained. “For now, we’ll be keeping joint custody. Hopefully when things get crazier in the next few months, we can take a few loads off to this tape and remember the good old days were crazy too.”

“If that’s not how it turns out though….” I interrupted, then took time to gather my words and make sure Emma didn’t object. “No matter when me, her or others see this tape again, I want it on the record that at this moment, I love this woman. Even if America goes on to love her more than me in the years ahead. Or other countries like Spain or England or whatever.”

“You have an active imagination. Bodes well for a project like this, really,” Emma suggested.

As she turned to face me, I took the risk of letting this sex tape get sappier than most would expect. “You’re absolutely sure this is the right project for you?” I asked. “That it’s worth the risk to your future reputation? We don’t know how much future you and me would care about stuff like that, you know.”

“I think I can give future me the benefit of the doubt,” Emma said. “Future me’s got Easy A to look forward to in a few weeks, a few really big scripts in her living room, and the blessing of the Internet. On the off chances it’s too big for her to handle, though….then I want to do something foolish while I have a clear enough head to control it. And while things are really perfect enough for me to go for it. And while it makes the fact that I’m breaking out as an all-talk, smart-ass virgin that much funnier.”

Coming closer to me, she finished, “And while I have the right co-star for the job. And all the others that aren’t on tape. At least we can get one perfect moment on tape, even if….future moments don’t turn out so perfect. Right?”

And I was worried about being sappy. In truth, since Emma was putting a lot of faith in me – not just tonight – it made me nervous about a few other things. Sex tapes are not supposed to include nerves in any way, though.

But Emma was the natural performer in front of the camera, at least more than me. Maybe it should have made me more suspicious about her words. Yet for the moment, I just let her lead me to the front of the bed, where we sat down.

“How about we ease into it?” Emma offered. “We don’t have to do the hard core stuff right away. Slow burns can work in any medium.” There was no sense arguing in movie terms with a movie it girl.

“Besides, it doesn’t take that much to get you going anyway. I saw the front of that robe move up when you saw me in this,” Emma reminded. It did move up, all right.

It probably wouldn’t take much to move it up again. Not with her sitting so close to me. Not with her in that robe. Not with those brilliant green eyes and that irresistible smirk in my line of sight. Stuff like that makes it easier to forget you’re about to be naked on film.

Having Emma Stone’s lips on you a second later helps too.

With no pressure to be NC-17 rated right now, I settled into kissing her like we would on any other night. I let her put her hands on my shoulders, while my left hand went into her gorgeous red hair and my right went onto her cheek. It was more romantic than smutty, but that didn’t mean I didn’t feel any….effects.

I could get hard in no time just from kissing her long enough. Tonight was no different, camera or not. When Emma’s hands went down my body, it was clear she wanted to feel for herself anyway.

Emma’s tongue slid further into my mouth, just as her hand brushed the growing erection under my robe. I let out a little moan into her open mouth, and soon enough, I felt her doing the same. With a voice like hers, the vibration made it easier for Emma to feel even more.

However, she wasn’t content to feel a mere lump on my robe. She wasn’t content to let my robe stay on at all, actually.

Once Emma broke the kiss and focused on untying my robe, I reached out to try and get her own loosened up. Yet she stopped me and said, “You’re gonna show me off enough later. I want to give your….star power its due first.”

As my mind wrapped around Emma’s little pun, she got me untied and started trying to unveil my….big star power. I had to get up and slip it off myself, though, doing it before I got too self-conscious. And thus, my first nude scene on camera began.

I sat back down, fully naked next to Emma’s still clothed form. I assumed the camera could catch my exposed erection – but it was more important that Emma did. She got it in her own personal shot and then some.

“You know, I said we didn’t need to go hardcore right now. But you always need a big scene at the start to get things going,” Emma said. “Looks like it’s quite big enough.”

I wondered how many more of these flattering but groan-worthy comments she had in her. Until she put something else in her instead.

Before I could do anything, Emma was down on her knees to take my cock right in her mouth. I groaned out on cue, followed by Emma popping off me and making a show of licking me up and down. The camera clearly caught her getting my cock nice and wet, as it got even more swollen to boot.

“Like I said….I shouldn’t be the only main attraction,” Emma spoke over my dick. “Not with this nice, thick cock worthy of pictures.”

Hearing that kind of praise for your cock is enough to boost any man, as stereotypical as that is. Hearing it in Emma’s husky voice, with her breathing on my cock, smiling her perfect smile while her stunning eyes twinkle….it almost brought the scene to an early halt.

Somehow, it didn’t end when Emma kissed down my underside and shaft, then licked back up before taking my head in her mouth. I endured enough to groan and lie back, putting my hand back into her hair as Emma licked my tip.

“Jesus, that’s still so hot,” I spoke. “Oh, such a sexy cocksucker….” I figured the more I talked, the more she’d talk back.

“Oh, really?” Emma came off me to ask.

“Oh, yeah….” I confirmed – repeating myself when Emma sank down my shaft and sucked hard, before coming off just as quickly. “Fuck me….” I uttered, unable to help myself from stroking my wet cock near Emma’s face.

Emma actually let me indulge for a moment before she grabbed me. “Just give them a taste of that,” Emma stated, then went on to take a taste herself.

“God, the puns.…” I had to say.

“What? Professional porn stars struggle with dialogue all the time! I’m a rookie, I got an excuse!” Emma said, mockingly annoyed – even when she was in the middle of sucking me off. Even now, she was trying to crack me up and it was working.

“So do I…..doll face!” I tried to sound like a stereotypical porn guy – though that was probably more film noir. “Get back to sucking already, babe!” I said, being exaggerated so she knew I wasn’t really ordering her like that. But the suggestion still wasn’t that bad.

“Oh yeah, let me suck away, baby!” Emma exclaimed in an airy fake porno voice. While it wasn’t sexy like her normal voice, it made me laugh instead – which summed up Emma in a nutshell, really.

After she stopped laughing herself, she settled down and said, “Seriously, though….” then trailed off and took me back down, inch by inch. I exhaled deeply as Emma bobbed on me in earnest, giving me and the camera a serious show.

“Fuck….won’t need to do that much longer,” I warned. “Do I cum in there? Or do you want it all caught on camera?” I made myself ask. Her only response was to take her mouth off and start pumping me.

“That’s it, huh? You want me to spray my cum all over for the camera?” I teased. “You want it to see how much cum you get out of me?” I went on, thrusting into Emma’s hand.

“Mmmhmm,” Emma confirmed, briefly licking my head all over. “Fuck my hand like you’re gonna fuck my pussy. Get all that early cum out of you so you can really fuck me hard.” Well, now we had no more right to mock porno dialogue.

That was the least of my concerns, thanks to Emma’s hand gripping me tighter and her tongue dabbing my tip. She let go, only to lick my shaft and lube it up so it could pump her hand easier. It was almost enough then and there.

“Start with a bang….big fucking wet bang,” I let out. “Need a….movie with big….explosions….”

“Uh huh….give me a big one,” Emma asked. “Cum all over us….” In that case, I made extra sure I was lying on my back – and hoped one or both of us made sure I had the aim not to get any on her hair.

It took several more pumps and a few more suckles on my head before we found out for sure.

Emma held onto my cock as it shot off on her lips and parts of her face. She then backed away and let me shoot the rest of it up in the air, in plain view of the camera. It landed mostly on my own body, although my eyes were closed for half of the process.

When I was done, Emma had already licked the cum off her lips, then went on to lick some of it off my groin and lower stomach. But she went off camera to go get a handy box of tissues, coming back with a smile to the camera before wiping her face and my body off. She was one to be prepared for a part.

Once that was finished, we went into dead air for a bit. “So….cut?” I asked, comically and genuinely. Emma chuckled, but that wasn’t an actual answer.

“Do we pause till you’re up and at ’em again? We can make it more seamless in editing,” Emma proposed.

“That won’t be necessary,” I said, willing myself to move around a bit. “It’s gonna be a while till I’m up and at ’em everywhere. So I gotta pass the time somehow.”

I got on my feet and headed for the camera’s tripod, moving it back and making sure it could film Emma up close, right where she was right now. There also needed to be room to film me when I got back there, and at this angle, there would be.

I returned to stand next to Emma, announcing, “You got me the early spotlight. But like you said, I’m not the main attraction. The real star hasn’t unveiled herself yet.”

Taking the cue, Emma put her hands on her robe to start untying it. However, I saw a flash of nerves and uncertainty on the usually confident actress’s face. Maybe it was all finally hitting her, as if my cum hadn’t already.

Perhaps she figured there was no going back after that, or that she was too worked up not to keep going. For whatever reason, Emma finished untying her robe, then slowly opened it up. Myself and the camera got fleeting looks at what was underneath, before she dropped the robe off her completely.

A camera now caught Emma Stone naked for the first time. But whether one saw her naked for the first time or 12’th, it would still provide the same amount of awe. Awe at her sexy long legs, her lusciously curved hips, the full round ass hidden behind them, the trim waist, the perky chest and how her beautiful face still tied everything together.

I wanted to give the camera and myself time to gawk, before I had to barge back in. I had to partly cover her up when I kissed her, pressed our naked bodies together for the first time on camera, and ran my hands down her chest. But before long, I went on my knees to at least leave her upper body uncovered.

Yet my focus right now was on her lower one.

“Stay right there,” I said before I forgot. With that out of the way, I could fully focus on those amazing legs of hers, and the amazing area right between them. Emma was standing sideways, so maybe the camera could get a glimpse of the amazing flesh behind it too.

But there were better things to do now than say the word amazing in my brain. Starting with getting my hands on those legs. After massaging her upper thighs for a while, I went between them before Emma got too impatient.

I kept rubbing up and down her legs, while my tongue copied the same movements on her lower lips. My hands, tongue and head moved as one, until my head stayed in place, my tongue went past her lips and my hands went around to grasp her behind.

“Faster than usual with that,” Emma commented.

“Hopefully you won’t have to say that again,” I said into her pussy.

“Well, now that it’s in my head, you know I’ll….” Emma started, before a nicely angled flick of my tongue made her unable to finish.

I moaned into her center and started kissing it, like I would her upper mouth. The kisses got more passionate with more tongue, all as I pushed her groin closer to mine. Emma kept herself standing while her hand went to my back of my head, holding onto my hair and making sure my head didn’t go anywhere.

But I did have to move it soon, if only to breathe clear air again. To make up for it, I took my right hand off her ass and put its index finger into her pussy. It helped pacify her while my lips went over to kiss the top of her leg.

“Oh, what are you doing?” Emma asked. I answered by kissing down her leg, adding my middle finger inside her and holding onto her ass with my left hand. However, my hands soon left her center and went down to rub the bottom of her left leg, as I kept kissing the top.

“What the fuck?” Emma spouted. “Are you just gonna….” Once again, a long lick to her pussy kept her from finishing a sentence. “That’s better….”

“You’re telling me,” I stated, suckling her while still rubbing her leg. “That pussy and those legs….fuck, hold on,” I stopped, bringing my hands over to her neglected right legs. My mouth went over to her upper right thigh and kissed down, but my left fingers went into her to balance it out.

“Okay….okay, okay,” was all Emma had at first. “Do I sit down at some point?”

“In a minute,” I informed. My hands went onto her hips after that, with my tongue sticking out and returning to her pussy. I showed off by licking and teasing it for the camera, refusing the urge to glance at it like I was on The Office. But after my tongue slid against her lips, my head dove fully in and my hands went over to her ass again.

“Fuck….not the worst minute,” Emma joked, yet her groan after that wasn’t in jest – I hoped. With one more squeeze on her behind and a nibble on her lips, I broke away.

“Go on and lie down now. You earned it,” I stated. Emma exhaled and went over to sit on the front of the bed, then promptly laid down. I promptly knelt down in front of her and resumed eating her out, although I knew the camera could only see the back of my head and body — as well as Emma’s upper body writhing.

I looked up to see Emma stretching herself out, while she happened to push her hips up. I met them and dug my tongue deeper into her, swirling it around as best I could. Her hands trailed down her body and landed on my head, just as her hips thrust against my face.

“Uh huh….fuck me. Fuck me and feed me,” I said against her. “I wanna see you fuck me when I watch this again….”

“This isn’t enough for you?” she asked, pushing onto me harder.

“Getting there,” I egged on. Before that made her do anything, I held her hips down and slid my tongue in as deep as I could, wiggling around the most I could. I took it out, only to bobble my head up and down as I nibbled and sucked on her pussy and clit.

“Jeez, fuck, fuck me!” Emma babbled. Whatever else she was doing, I would see on tape later. At the moment I looked up, she was throwing herself back and pinching her nipples, so I put my hands up to take over that job.

Holding onto her breasts, I sucked her harder and then went back to licking her lower lips leisurely. It only made Emma urge, “Little more than that….need more than that to cum….”

“Then you got it,” I promised. “You’ll cum for me and the camera….and I’ll get the messy aftermath on film. You wanna see my mouth covered with your juices and cum on film?”

“How am I gonna say no to that now?” Emma bit off, to which she had a point. “Just make me cum and then we’ll work it out, k?”

“Not a tall order,” I bragged. To back it up, I brought my hands back down and inserted my left index finger into her, then quickly replaced it with my right. My middle fingers then traded places in there, all as I licked next to them.

Finally, I settled for putting my left index and middle fingers into Emma, teasing her below with my thumb, and licking her up and down next to them. My right hand went up to cup her breast, remembering to tease the underside even during my licking and fucking.

“Oh, shit! Come on and make me cum! Come on and make me cum!” Emma repeated. “Come on and cum….” she seemed to tell herself that time. I tried to make it easier for her to listen.

Eventually, she started to get the cue loud and clear.

The camera caught Emma arching her back and closing her eyes, as she unloaded onto my mouth. That wasn’t caught on tape, but it was vivid and wet enough that I wouldn’t need a tape to see and relive this again.

After she finished up, I turned my head to the tripod and kept my mouth open. Just in case, I got on my feet and walked closer, so it could get the shot of Emma’s juices on my lips – and in my mouth. I licked and swallowed it up in full frame, then stepped aside so Emma’s post-orgasmic body took up the shot.

It and myself saw Emma catch her breath, as her hand moved to her still wet center. She lightly played with it and collected her own wetness, which cued me to go back over there and lick the rest of her clean. All the while, her finger was rubbing next to my mouth, although I just dabbed at it when I was done with her pussy.

Emma took it away before I made it too clean, finishing licking it up herself. Now that she was as clean as we could get her ourselves, I got myself back on the bed next to her. Since we both had an orgasm already, and she was just starting to recover while I was….about halfway through it, there was dead air for a while.

“This time I’m waiting on you,” I let her know as I laid beside her.

“Then we should go into intermission,” Emma said, getting up to put the sex tape on pause. She returned and laid back down without a word, which didn’t seem so bad right now.

I was nearly set to go again, although Emma would need a minute or two. The silence could have been awkward, now that we were halfway through the tape, the reality of it was settling in and there was still time to think clearly now that we were….unclogged.

But none of that was a problem at the moment. We laid quietly together, content and clear headed, as if it was after any other sexual encounter. Any other that hadn’t been filmed, with someone about to be a major Hollywood it girl months from now. Yet for this moment, none of the madness – Hollywood related or otherwise – made it any different.

Maybe that was a promising sign for things to come. Maybe it showed that Emma would pass through the A-list world – and all its naughty temptations – and still be the same wonderful Emma. Maybe I would be enough to keep up with it regardless.

And like in any other post-orgasmic aftermath, it didn’t take for me to want to kiss Emma again. From the way she kissed back, it wasn’t too different for her either.

“Okay, we kept future us waiting long enough,” she said between kisses. “Now I want to give present you a ride.” It was probably for the best that this line wasn’t filmed.

Nevertheless, the camera had to go back on now, so I went over to switch it on – intending that to be the last time I broke away from Emma for a while. I returned to her and sat myself up on the right of the bed, waiting for Emma to take that ride of hers.

She crawled over and settled herself on my lap, waiting for the go-ahead to sink down. The camera was titled to the right and shooting close up, so it should have had a good view of this. With that mentally checked off, I let Emma start taking me in and started turning my brain off.

Emma took in the top half of my shaft and then rose her hips up, then gently put them back down. I pumped my hips up a little higher, then went back down and she followed suit. We worked out our rhythm slowly until Emma got all the way down, making us ready to really get going.

As Emma started bouncing on me, my hands went down to her hips while my mouth went down to her chest. I took my first taste of her chest while getting far from my first squeeze of her ass, yet having my cock in her truly evened it out.

Since this was a special occasion, I knew we’d have to do more positions than this. I had the next one in mind, but I let myself hold Emma and let her rock on me a while longer. After a few more nibbles on her chest and neck, and a few of her little squeezes on my cock, I was ready to let myself topple onto my back – taking Emma with me.

She gave a little “Oof” as she found herself lying on top of me now. I put my hands on her back, massaging her up and down as my hips arched themselves up. Settling into it, Emma grinded her hips against me, then put some extra effort into bouncing them and her ass up and down.

It was Emma’s turn to leave nibbles on my neck, which I responded to by putting my right hand on her head. It tangled up in her exquisite red hair – the top of which I could now kiss. I also had a great view of her ass bouncing and arching back as she worked me over.

All in all, this was probably one sight that the tape wouldn’t do justice to.

So I savored it through my own personal p.o.v. shot while I could. Of course I had to do more than that, so I let my left hand go down to her pussy and rub it along, not letting her and my cock do all the work.

Emma hummed onto my neck as I buried my nose, lips and right hand into her hair. I wouldn’t have had a problem staying in this spot until we were finished, and maybe she wouldn’t either. However, circumstances dictated I had to get a little more daring.

As such, after one more rub on her and a few more kisses and gropes, I put both my hands on Emma’s waists before rolling us both over. Now it was me on top of her, getting ready to take over more of the workload. The camera would now mostly see my back and ass as I pumped into Emma, yet I hoped I didn’t come across as too lacking by comparison.

I’d have to worry about my screen presence later, though. In the here and now, I focused on kissing Emma’s face and neck, while navigating my left hand to come between our colliding groins. My right hand gripped the bed to keep me balanced as I fucked Emma faster.

“Okay….oh yeah,” Emma approved. She gave me louder approval when my left fingers reached her pussy, and louder when my cock went harder into her. I gave her a few quick, deep thrusts before letting my fingers rub her, then went back and forth on those techniques before I came up with a new one.

I temporarily stopped and pulled out of Emma, so I could get on my feet. I kept Emma lying there, stood between her legs and sunk back into her in no time. Now it would be easier to reach her pussy, and the both of us would have our thrusting upper bodies on camera.

Emma smirked that loaded, sultry smirk of hers as she gazed up with those naughty green eyes of hers. She pulled her hips back and placed her fingers on herself, then brushed them against the exposed bottom of my shaft. Before I did anything back, she took me all the way back in, then pulled her hips back and rubbed both of us again.

“Jesus….” I gasped even before she took me back in. “Okay….you’re gonna need to let me lead for a while,” I insisted, both to contribute and to hopefully avoid another early ending.

I laid my hands on her breasts and squeezed, all while my hips swiveled and thrust forward. I gave her a deep, hard series of fucks, then had to go slow for necessity’s sake. Emma grit her teeth and battened down for the ride, letting me take over like I asked.

My left hand returned to her pussy as my right tweaked her right nipple. Both hands worked their hardest – not to mention other appendages – to give Emma the same pleasure she gave me. Yet although she was lying back and not doing anything but watching, it still felt like I was barely drawing even.

Just taking my cock in, being naked and looking that aroused at me was enough to make her seem more in control. Maybe a different position would make a dent. “Turn over,” I impulsively came up with.

Once I pulled out, Emma followed directions without a word. The minute I went back into her and saw her ass bent over against my groin, I knew I’d only made it worse. If this could sanely be called worse.

I still reached down to stroke Emma below, and I still fucked her with as much control as I could. Nevertheless, even with her facing away and at my mercy, she was doing the bare minimum and still pushing me close to the edge.

Whether I was doing the same to her with all my work….well, with the camera on, how could I really know what was true? Movies really were the great deceptor.

But this was still Emma. Still someone who was brutally honest and open about what she wanted, and how – in here, and everywhere. Somehow, that included me. Somehow, that included this. That earned her the benefit of the doubt, at least. And a couple other things.

I put the doubts out of my mind and put my cock and fingers into overdrive, rubbing and fucking her close to the brink. It was only safe to take fleeting glimpses of her heart shaped ass and the back of her head, so I mostly focused on her back. Yet when Emma turned her head to look at me, it was all moot.

“Is this how you wanna end it?” Emma offered. “I’m good either way….”

“Oh, fuck it,” I gave up. “You have final cut here….”

I slowed down my thrusts so Emma might be able to think clearly. She did it well enough to say, “You can go ahead and lie down again.”

After pulling out, I got myself back on the bed and Emma got me in her chosen position – lying on my back in the middle of the bed, with my head lying on the bottom edge of it. Emma hovered herself over me and went back down, as her body was now the only one the camera would clearly see.

Since she was the real star, it fit.

If her ideal ending was riding me to oblivion, I would follow along and play my part. I let my hands go back on her pussy to add some variety, but Emma was causing enough friction bouncing on me. Her writhing, perfect body was all I and the camera could see, and all I wanted to see.

“Fuck me, fuck me….” Emma chanted. “Cum inside me….let me cum on that cock….” Emma was well versed in the art of a big finish, it would seem.

In my futile effort to delay it, I tried to think on whether we’d gone far enough before bringing this to an end. Technically, this was still pretty tame, position wise and all. Then again, in my…..research of other celebrity sex tapes, they really weren’t that kinky themselves. Even Kim Kardashian didn’t move around that much — although that wasn’t really a shocker.

But while more people sadly knew her – and hopefully far less people would see this tape – I had to say this, and Emma, had her beat in every way that counted. Breasts and ass notwithstanding – and the fact I couldn’t be objective.

Especially with Emma moaning hotly, squeezing my cock tight, rubbing her ass and thighs against me and urging me to cum for her. But you try being objective to that and see where that gets you.

It got me just a few more seconds to hold out, while I rubbed her pussy to at least put her on the brink before I exploded. But I couldn’t hold back on other tasks any longer.

I ran my hands down the curves of her waist and hips, savoring that before my final surge. When I put my hands on her pussy, I took a breath and asked, “You ready?”

“Oh yeah….future me and you should be set by now too,” Emma said, looking up at the camera and supposedly at its future audience of two – hopefully. “Now make us all cum, big boy….”

I lost count of how many thrusts and finger rubs I performed until I finally exploded, and until she did the same soon after. But I could always go back and rewind to be sure.

At the time of the grand finale, though, I wasn’t sure I could ever move again. At least Emma moved enough to fall down on top of me.

The only sounds we heard for the next several minutes were our heavy, eventually steady breathing, and the sounds of the camera rolling. Unlike before, I didn’t care that it was taping absolutely nothing now.

By now, sex tapes – for celebs and regular people – cut out after the money shot and don’t include post-sex cuddling, on the off chance the stars did that. This one had Emma lying still on top of me, in my arms, for at least 10 minutes before we bothered to get up and turned it off.

I told her and myself I’d edit out the action-less parts later on. I just never got around to it.

Not even four years later.

Summer 2014

Although I never deleted the quiet, content ending, I very rarely watched it all the way through. It took enough out of me just to re-watch the smut as it was. But with every new movie my ex released, with every interview and public appearance with new boyfriend Spider-Man – and with every engagement rumor – I wound up trying to endure.

Others would endure to the point of selling this tape for a small fortune, and the side effect of destroying the wholesome reputation of their ex. When a baseless Internet rumor of an Emma Stone sex tape came out months ago, it was the ideal opening — leaving aside how I had nothing to do with that rumor.

The fact Emma probably thought I did was painful enough, if she even heard about it. But she didn’t contact me about it – just like she didn’t say anything about the tape, and how she probably knew I still had it, in all our post-breakup talks.

Either way, as I rewound the DVD and saw glimpses of Emma’s naked acts in reverse, it reminded me one more time how I couldn’t part with this, for any reward. This one part of Emma and me would at least still be mine.

Besides, I doubted TMZ could afford the money it would take. If Playboy was in the sex tape buying racket, maybe. But such was life.