X-men: Bast (sex parody)

The spacious halls of Prestonwood Academy were empty and abandoned with the exception for three people marching purposefully down their lengths, shoes clicking sharply on the polished marble floor. The halls stretched out, lengthy corridors kept immaculately clean and orderly. Old portraits depicted stern elderly men looking down upon the viewer, and class collages showed off the most recent graduating classmen. A case here and there held trophies and awards in various fields of excellence, mostly academic spotted with the occasional athletic achievement. Like most high schools, lockers lined the walls. Unlike most, however, these lockers were quite large, almost two feet wide each and well spaced to avoid cramping a neighboring unit. They were handcrafted and stained, a rich and rather expensive looking mahogany. The lockers had built in combination locks and each was adorned with a brass nameplate, lavishly engraved to proudly display the name and class year of each student. The names of future lawyers, doctors, and…

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Al Bundy : Afternoon Delight – xxx parody

Al Bundy has just finished working the Sunday afternoon shift at the shoe store, smelling fat women’s sweaty feet all day. Driving his Dodge down the freeway, Al listens to the Cubs game on his AM radio… hoping he can catch the last couple of innings on TV when he gets home. Al hurries into his humble house and goes straight to the kitchen, where he grabs a six pack of beer out of the fridge, not noticing the commotion in front of his beloved RCA 25″ TV. Al plops down on the couch and points the remote at the TV but instead of the game, he finds their next-door neighbor, Marcy, eating and fisting Peggy’s hairless pussy on the coffee table. “Aww Peg, did you two have to do that in front of the TV? It’s the playoffs,” complains Al. “Isn’t watching us better than watching TV, Al?” Peggy quips. “Only if you two could do play by play…

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The big celeb orgy

Starring – Troian Bellisario,Jennifer Lawrence,Nina Dobrev,Jeri Ryan,Kate Beckinsale,Kristin Kreuk,Moon Bloodgood. In his office Kurt looked over the money sent to his account before meeting with new clients.The money Is there.Kurt IS a mind control expert.Little did the public know studios often employ people like him to get to celebs In their prefered projects,and to arrange matches.Kurt has deceded to go Into private business.He knew there was a market for those who want to live out fantasys with celebs. Chris,John,Karen,David,Kevin,and Paul are waiting In living room of Kurt’s House.Kurt comes Into Living room. “All right.I have checked my account.Your money Is there” Kurt tells them. “How soon till we will be able to meet up with our choice” John asks “I have already put subject you requested under conditioning.Once I give you the proper words,and location you can have the subject.once the code Is uttered to subject she will do whatever you want very willingly.” Kurt tells them. “What If we…

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Sarah and Natalie: Party Girls

I looked in the full-length mirror, adjusting my dark blue silk tie. Flicking my left wrist, I checked the time, I had about half an hour to get to the party. I took a deep breath, leaving the mirror and walking to a dresser to get the small bottle of pills I knew I would need tonight. I had one fish on the hook, tonight I would catch another, the one I had longed to acquire for years. I turned to the mirror, smiled rakishly. Time to party. This was a big Hollywood get-together. A lot of big names were here, people I would never get to meet if I hadn’t caught my cute little meal ticket. I showed my invitation to the large, burly man in a suit watching the front gate, then drove my black sports car up the winding drive to the mansion. The party was in full swing when I walked through the front door. A…

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Band Slammed! – feat. Vanessa Hudgens and Alyson Michalka

Truth be told I wasn’t actually expecting to have a particularly exciting evening that night, as I attended the Hollywood premiere of “Bandslam” a film I had incidentally helped finance. Fact was I had attended a handful of similar events in previous weeks and was almost always disappointed. In fact I usually found such affairs overhyped and indulgent. Nevertheless, I decided to go with my gut and joined the cast and crew to the unofficial after party across town, and soon found myself standing by the end of the bar admiring one of the leading ladies from the film, actress Alyson Michalka. Frankly I knew very little about the Alyson, but now found myself intrigued. There, I couldn’t help but gawk at the leggy blonde and marvel at her revealing outfit which featured several revealing panels and two huge lace slits up the length of her legs, completely exposing her thighs and almost revealing her hips. Watching her, I had…

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Monica Bellucci ‘s story

“CANNES, which is in France…” – Joe Bob Briggs Monica Bellucci flipped through some of the messages she had been left from people who had seen “Irreversible” and wanted to know how she could agree to appear in such a movie – “I’ll never have any respect for you again!” “How could you degrade yourself like that?” and so on. She had known that this would upset people, but not to this extent. It wasn’t like this was the only problem the stunning Italian actress had in her life; she and her co-star/husband were on the verge of separating, but she could wipe out the pain of that with work. Still, it did bother her that there were people who couldn’t see that it was only a movie (and in the eyes of many people not a very good one at that). But there would be others. She needed a drink. * * * * * * * * *…

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Ariel Winter’s adult adventures

They call it When The World Went White. A flash in the sky that covered the planet eliminating the world’s electricity and leaving barbarism in it’s place. Warlords arose and carved out their own fiefdoms, territories, and kingdoms through bloody violence. His name is Dirk, traveling the lands of California looking for a place to finally put aside his guns and sword and rest. His companion, Ariel Winter, follows him on his adventures as they struggle to survive in the new, bloody world. —– The sun beat down on Ariel’s skin like a torch. Sweat gleamed on her tan flesh and rolled down her body to soak into her leather coverings. She wiped the sweat from her brow with the back of her hand as she looked around at where they were. The desert surrounding them looked like every inch of desert they had traveled through since leaving the last town. They hadn’t been able to take much in the…

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Want to hear a true story about how Hannah and I fucked Madonna?

Want to hear a true story about how Hannah and I fucked Madonna? “Yeah, RIGHT!” you’re saying, “In your dreams, pal.” And, I don’t blame you one iota for doubting such a preposterous claim. I sometimes find it hard to believe myself. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve rolled over in bed, waking from a half-dream, and gazed deep into my pretty Californian wife’s blue blue eyes and she’s just smirked back ’cause she’s known what I’m going to ask before I even ask it. I guess I must just have this bemused “Did I really just win 6 million pounds on the lottery?” expression plastered over my face. “What is it, honey?” she’ll ask, humouring me as she playfully twists strands of silky red hair around her finger. (Hannah’s always playing with her hair – not in a nervous way, you understand. It’s just this cute little habit she has.) “Have you forgotten how to speak,…

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Bridget Jones Meets Bridget Fonda

I couldn’t believe that I finally got a part in a major motion picture. What amazed me even more was it stars Bridget Fonda and Renee Zellwegger. I was walking down Hollywood Boulavard to meet with both lovely actresses. Bridget actually called me to tell me were she lives. I hardly could contain myself when I heard her voice on the other line. As I found the house, it certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Just an old log cabin. I figured a mansion. As I walked up the steps to the front door, I thought I heard moaning. “OH, BRIDGET. EAT ME.” someone pleaded, “LICK MY PUSSY.” Intrigued, I cupped my hands around my face, because of the glare, and plastered it to the glass. What I saw completely blew my mind. Bridget Fonda was on her knees, with her face planted into Renee Zellwegger’s snatch. She was sitting on a black leather couch with her legs spread-eagled, and…

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Journal of an Agent – Lisa Kudrow

“RING, RING, RING!” Struggling to reach over and grab the phone, I almost fell out of bed as the phone startled me awake. Glancing at the clock through sleepy eyes, I saw that it was 6 AM. Way too fucking early. “Hh–hello?” I managed to croak into the phone as I tiredly lifted it to my ear. I was greeted by an overwhelmingly enthusiastic voice on the other end. “Dean! What’s happening baby! How’s my favorite half- brother!” the voice said. “Jacob, I’m your only fucking half-brother,” I replied hoarsely. Jacob was the illegitimate child of my father’s, who came along a few years after I was born. Apparently my father Martin had kept Jacob a secret from my mother and I, sending money from his job as a bank manager (this was before he walked out on us and started the Hollywood firm I now manage) to Jacob’s mother. When my father disappeared and the money did as well,…

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