X Files (xxx files)

“Mulder?” Scully walked into the office she and her partner shared. It appeared that Agent Mulder was out, even though an assistant had told her he was in their office. Oh, well, she told herself, and decided to come back after rinsing out the coffee pot. God only knew how long the pot had sat festering over the weekend. Mulder had, true to character, forgotten about it. When Scully returned, Mulder was at his desk with Langly, one of the Lone Gunmen-a group of con- spiracy theorists-and they were talking to someone on speaker phone. After putting some fresh grounds into the coffee maker, Dana walked across the room and sat on top of her desk, facing Mulder and Langly. The men were talk- ing excitedly about an alien fetus, apparently found mummified outside of Helena, Montana, that the govern- ment had allegedly taken from the scene to study and then destroy. Scully rolled her eyes and covered her face…

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Rosanne, the xxx parody

Roseanne was sitting in the kitchen all by herself when D.J. walked in and sat down beside her at the table. He rested his head in his hands and looked her straight in the face. She looked back at him, wondering what he was up to. For a while, he said nothing, but continued looking at her. Finally, he spoke. “Mom, what does sex feel like?”, he asked. Roseanne was stunned. He almost never mentioned sex to anyone, let alone her. She wanted to run from the room but instead, she embraced his question.. “C’m here, let me show you”, she said as she led him into the bedroom. D.J. was only fifteen but she figured that he’d better learn about sex now. And who better then his own mother. She told him to sit on the bed while she began to strip for him. D.J. got pretty excited and his cock began to harden. She started by taking off…

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A XXX parody of the TV show, “Who’s the Boss”

“Wow Tony, that was fabulous.” Angela Bower pushed her chair back from the dining room table and neatly stacked the dirty dishes and silverware at her place setting. “Let me help you pick up the table.” “Oh no, Angela, you have other things to do. Sam and I will have everything spic and span in no time, right Sammie?” “Yea, right Dad, no problem,” the young girl answered sarcastically. “Well, okay if you two insist. I do have some work to do tonight.” Angela excused herself and went to her combination office and den to catch up on a couple of her accounts. As she sat in front of the computer monitor Angela reflected once again on how lucky she was to have found Tony and Sam. She had been just about to give up on finding a suitable housekeeper when Tony answered her newspaper ad. He and Sam wanted to relocate from Brooklyn to a place where he could…

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Seinfeld XXX parody

Jerry was getting ready to meet George and Elaine for lunch at their favorite hangout, Monk’s, when Kramer came sliding through the door. “Hey Buddy, where ya goin’?” “Oh, hi Kramer. Please come in. I going to meet George and Elaine for lunch, want to come?” “Oh yeah, I’m there” Kramer answered, “when you going?” “Right now, are you coming or what?” “Oh, I’m there, giddyup!” Meanwhile, Elaine was already there, waiting at their regular booth. “Where are those idiots”, she thought to herself. “They both need to buy a watch, not that either one of them could tell time.” Jerry and Kramer were walking to Monk’s when George came running towards them. “Wait guys, wait,” George yelled out of breath. “We can’t go to Monk’s, we gotta go some place else!” “Why,” Jerry asked. “Susan found out I was meeting you guys for lunch at Monk’s and said she might meet us their. I can’t have Susan join us…

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Planet of the Apes – the XXX version

Leo and his gang were quietly deliberating on what to do. The humans insisted that they should cross the river to the other side and bypass the camp that way. The apes, being afraid of water, were hesitant of this idea. Eventually though, the apes conceded that there was no other way. Sneaking past the camp with more than one or two individuals at a time would surely raise too much noise, but sneaking by so stealthily would take too much time. And so, carefully, they waded into the river. The apes of the company were closely watched by the humans to make sure they wouldn’t panic. Not only would that be a danger to themselves, but to the group as a whole. Leo would go last, and take Ari on the back of his horse. When all were safely into the river and making their way across, Leo too drove his horse into the rushing water. As soon as…

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The Secret and Dirty World of Alex Mack

Alex Mack lay in bed. Her sister Annie was sleeping next to her naked worn out after one of their many “midnight snacks” that they had been having so often these days. Alex was fantasizing about so many of the cute guys at her school. She often did this after her interlude’s with Annie or Ray. She fiddled with her cunt, dreaming that she was getting her brains fucked out by some big stud. While she dreamed about a bunch of guys, her thoughts often came back to one – Jake Waters. Jake and Alex’s lockers were right next to each other in school and they often talked between classes. Sooner or later, Alex and Jake both realized that they liked each other. The only problem was that it turned out Jake was going out with Annie. Jake had wanted to break up with Annie to go out with Alex, but Alex had felt too weird about a guy breaking…

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Patricia Richardson has the hots for a big burly construction worker

Pat was late. She had an appointment in a downtown LA high-rise office building to discuss a new TV show with the producer. Since the end of “Home Improvement” her career had slowed. She was anxious to find new work. “Give it your best shot, Pat,” said her talent agent. “This could be the break your looking for. You’re perfect for the part. So, do yourself a favor and shop for a new outfit,” he said. “You’re an attractive lady, Pat. Play it up a little. I don’t have to remind you know how things work in Hollywood.” Pat did just that, treating herself to a new outfit. It cost too much, but what the hell, if it helped her win the job it was worth every penny. It was a business dress, gray in color, with a three-button jacket. It had a plunging neckline and was tailored to fit tightly around her waist before flaring over her hips. The…

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