Seinfeld XXX parody

Jerry was getting ready to meet George and Elaine for
lunch at their favorite hangout, Monk’s, when Kramer
came sliding through the door.

“Hey Buddy, where ya goin’?”

“Oh, hi Kramer. Please come in. I going to meet George
and Elaine for lunch, want to come?”

“Oh yeah, I’m there” Kramer answered, “when you going?”

“Right now, are you coming or what?”

“Oh, I’m there, giddyup!”

Meanwhile, Elaine was already there, waiting at their
regular booth. “Where are those idiots”, she thought to
herself. “They both need to buy a watch, not that
either one of them could tell time.”

Jerry and Kramer were walking to Monk’s when George
came running towards them.

“Wait guys, wait,” George yelled out of breath. “We
can’t go to Monk’s, we gotta go some place else!”

“Why,” Jerry asked.

“Susan found out I was meeting you guys for lunch at
Monk’s and said she might meet us their. I can’t have
Susan join us for lunch. That’s like two worlds
colliding. If outside George and engaged George
collide, outside George’s life is over. I can’t live
like that, I have to keep my two worlds apart!”

“Alright, alright, but now where are we going to eat,”
Jerry asked.

“We can go to Reggie’s, it’s all the same menu,” George
answered.

“No it’s not,” Jerry answered. “I can’t get an egg
white omelet. It says right on the menu, no egg white
omelets, plus, what about Elaine? She is supposed to
meet us at Monk’s, and she won’t be able to get her big
salad.”

“Elaine is always late, we can call her when we get
there, George answered. She can go one day without her
big salad. Worlds are colliding Jerry, worlds are
colliding!”

“Alright, let’s go to Reggies’,” Jerry whined, but
you’re buying George.”

Back at Monk’s Elaine was getting madder by the minute.
“Where the hell are those idiots? I have got to get
some new friends.”

A few minutes later, Susan walked in and saw Elaine.
“Hey Elaine, I was hoping to surprise George and meet
him for lunch. Have you seen him yet?”

“No, as usual, he and Jerry are both late,” Elaine
answered.

“Do you mind if I join you and wait?” Susan asked.

Elaine had never been that crazy about Susan, but she
didn’t really know her very well. All she knew was that
Susan and George had dated for a few months, they had
broken up, and the Susan became a lesbian. The next
thing she knew, about a year later, Susan and George
were engaged. At first, Elaine was jealous of George
and Susan’s engagement, but she eventually got over
that. She was still a little curious about Susan’s time
as a lesbian, and what made her switch teams and then
switch back. Not wanting to be rude, Elaine invited
Susan to join her.

“I’ve about given up on dumb and dumber,” Elaine
started, “why don’t we go ahead and order.”

While Susan and Elaine had lunch, they both discretely
tried to find out information about the others that
they did not already know. The more they talked, the
more they seemed to like each other.

As they were finishing their lunch, Susan started
thanking Elaine for lunch, as well as the conversation.
“This was really nice. I really enjoyed getting to know
you. I have lost contact with a lot of my old friends
since George and I have gotten back together, and
George never let’s me come out with him when he gets
together with you, Jerry, and Kramer.”

“Now that you mention it,” Elaine started, “I really
don’t have very many female friends myself. We should
do this more often.”

Susan had never been very fond of Elaine, but had
always found her attractive. She had always kept her
lesbian feelings well hidden, but had an idea to see if
Elaine had any similar feelings.

“I have and idea,” Susan started. “My father has a
beautiful cabin up state. It is on a secluded lake and
is very peaceful. Why don’t you and I go up there some
weekend, kind of like a girl’s only weekend? We could
go just to relax and get to know each other better.”

Not really wanting to go, but not being able to think
of any reason not to go, Elaine agreed. “When would you
want to go” Elaine asked.

“How about this weekend,” Susan answered. “We can go
this weekend. We can leave Friday after we get off of
work.”

“Okay, sure,” Elaine stuttered.

“Great, I’ll pick you up about 4 Friday afternoon,”
Susan answered. “I’ll pick up all the supplies we will
need. We should be there by about 9 o’clock. This is
going to be fun, I haven’t had anything to look forward
to in a long time.”

Elaine smiled and replied, “Yeah, me too. I guess I
will see you on Friday.”

Susan went home and immediately started making plans.
She had a lot of special things she needed to pack, but
still keep hidden from George. Just thinking about
spending the weekend with a hot woman like Elaine was
making Susan very wet. Susan had to stop several times
to play with her pussy while trying to get packed. She
knew George was going to be in for a night of some
serious fucking. She just hoped George would be able to
keep up with her. George was going to be in for the
fucking of his life and probably never know why.

For Susan, the days seem to drag by like months. As for
Elaine, the days seem to fly by like seconds. She was
happy about getting away from the city and her idiot
friends for a couple of days, but was unsure if she
would be able to stand being stuck up in the middle of
no where with only Susan.

One thing Susan had learned from George was the way to
get Elaine to open up was with Snaupps. So Susan made
one last stop by the liquor store to pick up a couple
of bottles before picking up Elaine.

As predicted, Susan and Elaine arrived at the cabin
about 9 o’clock. Once they got Susan’s car unloaded,
their bags unpacked, and the supplies put away, Susan
fixed them some drinks as they sat around the fireplace
and began to relax. They started out with some small
chat and eventually, with a little help from Susan, the
topic got around to sex.

“I know you and Jerry used to date,” Susan asked, “but
have you ever slept with George or Kramer?”

“No, no, no, no, no,” Elaine answered emphatically. “I
mean nothing against George,” Elaine started to
stumble, “but he just isn’t my type. Not that there is
anything wrong with George, or anyone who likes him,
but he just isn’t a guy I would date. Not to say that
there is something wrong with a woman who would date
George. I mean you and George seem to be a great
couple. Oh hell, I don’t know what I mean. I’m sorry, I
hope I did not offend you. Oh, just shoot me now. Were
in the middle of no where, you can get away with it.”

Susan just laughed. “I know what you are saying,
Elaine. I know George is kind of an odd duck. Don’t
worry, I am not offended. I know what a shmuck George
can be. He has his good side too, he just doesn’t show
it very often. What was Jerry like in bed? How is Jerry
hung?”

“Jerry was okay,” Elaine started. “He sure wasn’t the
best I have ever had, but he wasn’t the worst either.
As far as being hung, I would have to say he was about
average, how about George? I have always imagined him
to be hung like a bull, a bull ant that is,” she
laughed.

Susan could tell the booze was starting to work. “I
would have to say about the same thing about George,
not the best, not the worst. He is hung a little better
than a bull ant, but not by much. Some times I have to
take matters into my own hands, if you know what I
mean.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Elaine replied. What is
it like being with a woman? Is it better or worse?”

“Well,” Susan began, “it is hard to compare the two. In
some ways, I guess it is better and in other ways it is
not. I guess the best thing about being with a woman is
that she knows what to do to make her self feel good,
and knows how to do the same to another woman. At the
same time, the equipment is not all there. Sometimes I
just need to feel something bigger than a finger shoved
inside my cunt. Toys can be a lot of fun, but sometimes
I missed the warmth and the feeling of the blood
pumping through a real cock. You mean you have never
even tried being with a woman, not even in college?”

Elaine was a little thrown off by Susan’s language, as
well as her question. “Well, no, I have never been with
a woman in a sexual way. I had a girl hit on me at a
party in college though. We started to make out, but I
never got past kissing and feeling up her tits. I guess
I chickened out. I didn’t want to get a reputation as a
lesbian, not that there is anything wrong with that.”

Susan got up to freshen their drinks. When she came
back, she sat down next to Elaine on the sofa, instead
of the rocking chair she was sitting in. “Ever thought
about trying it again,” Susan asked.

Before Elaine had a chance to answer, Susan had covered
Elaine’s lips with her own. She kissed Elaine softly at
first, but when Elaine did not try to pull away, Susan
began kissing more passionately, slipping her tongue
into Elaine’s mouth. Next, Susan began rubbing her hand
over Elaine’s body. Starting with her face, working her
way down her neck, and then to her wonderfully soft
breasts. It wasn’t until Susan started rubbing at
Elaine’s pussy, through her pants, before Elaine pulled
away.

“No, we shouldn’t be doing this,’ Elaine started. “I
don’t think this is a good idea. I have never done this
before. Maybe we should stop before we start. These
drinks are starting to get to me, I think I better go
to bed.”

“Well I think the first part is all bullshit,” Susan
said, “but I love the end part for sure. Why don’t we
go to bed?”

“Uh, no,” Elaine stuttered. “I meant me go to my bed
and you go to yours. We really shouldn’t do this. I
mean, what about George? I couldn’t do that to George.
I couldn’t live with myself if you and George broke up
because of me. Besides, I’m not really into girls. I
think we have both had too much to drink. Maybe we
should get some sleep and just forget this ever
happened. Well, good night Susan,” Elaine said trying
to get up from the sofa.

“Who gives a fuck about George, besides, who is going
to tell him. I’m sure not, are you,” Susan asked.

“Well no, I mean there is nothing to tell George,
because nothing has happened and nothing is going to
happen,” Elaine answered.

“Elaine,” Susan raised her voice while pulling Elaine
back down to the sofa. “It’s okay, you have nothing to
be scared of. I know if you give it a chance, you will
be glad you did. How do you know you’re not in to it
until you have tried it? I can make you feel things you
never thought possible, if you just give it a chance.

Once again Susan started kissing and groping Elaine.
Again Elaine started to let Susan have her way.

Suddenly, Elaine pulled away, stood up, and began to
hurry towards her bedroom. “I’m sorry Susan, I just
can’t do this. I’m going to bed, alone! I will see you
in the morning.”

Before Elaine could get to her room, close, and lock
the door, Susan was able to catch up to her and grab
her. “Listen hear bitch,” Susan shouted, “this is going
to happen! We can do it the easy way or the hard way,
it is entirely up to you. I haven’t had a feisty bitch
in a long time. Like you said earlier, we are in the
middle of no where. You can yell and scream all you
want. There is no one around for miles to hear you. Now
what is it going to be!”

“You’re fucking nuts,” Elaine shouted back. “You need
to get your ass out of this room and go to bed. You can
take me home in the morn'”

Before Elaine could finish her statement, Susan had
grabbed Elaine and threw her onto the bed like a rag
doll. Before Elaine knew what was happening, Susan had
tied her hands above her head with her own belt and
Susan was using her belt to secure Elaine to the
bedpost.

“You just wait here,” Susan started. “I will be right
back. I have to get the right tools to properly tie you
up. Not to worry though, I’ve brought everything we are
going to need for the weekend. This is going to be
great, I have not had a sex slave bitch in a long
time.”

Elaine’s eyes were the size of baseballs when she heard
Susan call her a sex slave bitch. It was obvious that
Susan was much stronger than she was. She knew she
would never be able to over power her, especially while
tied to the bed. She had to think of a way out of this.
She didn’t think more talking would do any good, but it
was about the only option she had at the moment.

Susan returned with a large duffel bag. “I think we
have everything we are going to need, if not, we will
just have to make due with what we’ve got here.”

Susan started pulling out dildo’s, handcuffs, balls,
chains, ropes, straps, and many other things Elaine had
never seen before.

“I’m so sorry Susan,” Elaine began to whine. You are
right, I am not giving this a chance. If you will just
untie me, we can talk about this and try a few things.
What do you think? Doesn’t that sound fair? I promise,
we can keep kissing, and you can feel me up all you
want. I will feel you up too. That sounds like fun
doesn’t it?”

“What, do you think, stupid rubs off,” Susan asked
sarcastically. “Just because I am engaged to an idiot
like George doesn’t mean I’m as stupid as he is. You’ve
made your bed, so to speak, now you have to sleep in
it, or fuck in it, in this case.”

Susan grabbed a handful of velvet and leather straps
and went over to the bed. She roughly rolled Elaine
over onto her stomach and climbed on top over to hold
her down while she took off the belts and tied her up
with the straps. All the while, Elaine was begging
Susan to let her go.

Once Susan had Elaine’s arms and legs tied how she
wanted them, she rolled Elaine back over onto her back
and began to secure her once again to the bedposts.
Elaine was strapped down to the bed spread eagle.

Once again Susan left the room, only to return with
video cameras and tripods. Susan set up four cameras
around the room, on tripods, to catch every possible
angle, as well as one hanging from a special bracket
above the bed. Elaine was mortified. Not only was she
tied, spread eagle, to the bed, she was about to be
raped, by a woman, and now it was all going to be video
taped. Tears began to roll down her eyes as she
continued to beg Susan to reconsider. Susan continued
to work, acting as if she could not even hear Elaine.
All the while, hearing Elaine beg was making Susan’s
pussy so wet, she was beginning to feel her juices soak
through her panties and run down her legs.

Once Susan got the cameras set up and got them all
recording, she returned to her bag and pulled out a
pair of scissors.

Susan sat down on the bed next to Elaine. “I’m sorry it
had to come to this. I hate to have to ruin your lovely
clothes, but it is the only way to get them off. When
we get home, I will take you shopping and we can
replace these lovely things, as well as picking you up
some other items I think you might like. At least I
know I will like you in them.”

Susan skillfully and quickly cut off all of Elaine’s
clothes. It appeared to Elaine as if she had done this
before. Elaine began to wonder how many other victims
Susan had brought here. Elaine knew that she did not
bring all of the video equipment with her. “This must
be a secret lair for Susan,” Elaine thought.

“Oh God Elaine.” Susan moaned. Do you have any idea how
sexy you truly are? You are making me so wet. If you
don’t make me cum soon, I am going to explode!”

Susan quickly began to undress. “Oh fuck Elaine, can’t
you see how wet you have made me? Here, smell how good
these smell,” Susan said as she laid her soaked panties
on Elaine’s face.

Elaine tossed her head from side to side until Susan’s
panties had fallen off of her face.

“Fine then, if that’s the way you want it, I
understand. Why would you want leftovers when you can
have it fresh,” Susan said as she climbed on the bed
and sat down on Elaine’s face, putting her cleanly
shaved cunt right onto Elaine’s mouth.

“Go ahead baby, eat and drink all you want. I can make
plenty more. By the way,” Susan continued as she ground
her wet cunt into Elaine’s face, “if have any ideas
about trying to bite me or anything like that, I would
think twice about that. Just remember where we are and
who is in control. Now open you fucking mouth and
starting eating my pussy before I have to start getting
mean!”

Elaine slowly began licking Susan’s pussy. As much as
she hated what was being done to her and what she was
being forced to do, she had to admit to herself that
Susan’s pussy juices did not taste all that bad.

“Oh yes! Oh fuck yes! Oh fuck that feels good,” Susan
continued to moan. “Lick that pussy you bitch. Fuck me
with your tongue. Yes, yes, oh god yes, lick that clit.
Oh fuck baby, suck on that clit. That’s it baby, right
there, right there, don’t stop. Oh fuck, you’re gonna
make me cum! Yes, yes, oh fuck, oh goddamn that feels
good! That’s it, yes, yes, oh fuck, fuuuuccckkk,
fuuccckkk! I’m cumming! I’m cumming! Ooh yes! Oh god
this feels great!”

Susan’s cum was pouring into Elaine’s mouth. Susan’s
juices were filling Elaine’s mouth so fast that the
only choices she had were to swallow it or drown.

When Susan’s orgasm finally subsided, Susan collapsed
on top of Elaine.

“Oh fuck Elaine, that was incredible! Are you sure you
have never done this before?”

Elaine just stared back at Susan with Susan’s juice
still shinning on her face and running down her cheeks.
Elaine’s face was still red from the lack of oxygen
while Susan ground her pussy as deep into Elaine’s
mouth as she could get it.

“As much as I would love to let you keep doing that all
night, I think it is only fair that I return the favor.
Besides, we still have the rest of the weekend ahead of
us, and we haven’t even started playing with our toys
yet.”

Elaine wanted to cry at the thought of this continuing
for next two days. She wasn’t sure she would be able to
hang on that long, but then again, what choice did she
have.

Once again Susan started kissing Elaine, getting to
taste herself in Elaine’s mouth. She then started
working her way down Elaine’s body, stopping to briefly
suck on Elaine’s neck before working her way down to
her tits.

“Oh Elaine, I have always wondered what kind of tits
you have. You always wear such baggy clothes. It’s such
a shame you keep this beautiful body hidden all the
time.”

Susan spent several minutes sucking and nibbling on
Elaine’s nipples, going back and forth between each
breast. Finally, Susan crawled down and positioned
herself between Elaine’s legs. “It’s good to see you
keep you bush trimmed,” Susan commented. “You would be
surprised how many women just let it grow. I have seen
woman with more hair on their cunts than on their
heads. Have you ever thought about shaving it all off?
I love a clean soft pussy, but trimmed is okay too.
Maybe tomorrow we can try to shave it off, but let’s
just see how it goes.”

Susan began lick Elaine’s thighs, only occasionally
brushing up against her pussy, just enough to tease
Elaine. As Susan continued teasing Elaine with her
tongue, she took her finger and was gently tracing
around Elaine’s labia. Next, Susan began to lightly
blow on Elaine’s pussy lips and clit. Despite her
efforts, Elaine was starting to feel sexually
frustrated, her body needing the teasing to stop and be
allowed to orgasm.

Slowly, Susan’s tongue was working its way closer and
closer to Elaine’s pussy and clit. Susan grabbed a
small vibrator and again started teasing Elaine by
rubbing it just outside of her labia and clit. Elaine
was starting to moan and found herself uncontrollably
thrusting her hips towards Susan, trying to get Susan’s
tongue and the vibrator closer to home.

“So, you want it after all, don’t you,” Susan asked in
a sensual tone.

Elaine continued to moan and thrust her hips until
Susan finally gave in and started to hit all of the
right spots, as she could see Elaine’s juices starting
to flow.

Susan started licking up Elaine’s juices while she
started pushing a finger into Elaine’s tight cunt and
rubbing her vibrator against Elaine’s clit.

“Wow, I am surprised how tight your cunt is,” Susan
exclaimed. “As many guys as I hear you fuck, I would
have thought you would have been a lot looser than
this.”

Elaine was too far-gone to care about such a derogatory
comment. Despite her circumstances, Elaine was in a
sexual haze, just on the verge of a huge orgasm.

Susan knew Elaine was on the verge of cumming and
suddenly stopped everything.

“What are you doing,” Elaine screamed out. “Oh god,
please don’t stop! Oh god please let me cum!” Elaine
continued to beg, pulling at her restraints and
thrusting her pelvis, trying to get herself off.

“I though you weren’t into girls, I thought you didn’t
want this to happen,” Susan snapped back at Elaine.

“Oh god, please let me cum, just let me cum, I will do
anything you want! Just please make me cum, oh god,
please make me cum,” Elaine begged.

“Anything,” Susan asked.

“Yes, yes, I will do anything you want, just please let
me cum,” Elaine answered.

“Okay,” Susan finally gave in, “but remember, you said
anything, and we have it all on tape in case you change
your mind. I am going to make you cum like you have
never cum before.”

Susan went back to work on Elaine’s cunt. This time she
used one vibrator on her clit, and another against her
tightly puckered asshole, all the while fucking her
tight cunt with her tongue.

Elaine was going crazy. Her whole body was bucking and
pulling against her restraints and moaning the entire
time.

“Oh my god, what are you doing to me,” Elaine moaned.
“Oh god, oh fuck, oh god yes, yes, oh fuck yes! Oh god
I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna fucking cuuuuuummmmm!”

Suddenly, Elaine started screaming and her body was
shaking, almost as if she were having a convulsion.
Elaine’s orgasm was tearing through her body like none
she had ever had before. All of a sudden her pussy
started squirting her pussy juices all over Susan’s
face, in her hair, and at the height of Elaine’s
orgasm, over Susan’s head and landing on her back.

Susan tried her best to lap up as much of Elaine’s cum
as she could. She was also very proud of herself,
reassured in the fact that she could still make a woman
cum like never before.

Once Elaine’s orgasm began to subside and Susan could
once again communicate with Elaine, Susan said, “You
never told me you were a squirter.”

“What happened, what do you mean, did I piss on you,”
Elaine asked, noticing Susan’s wet face and hair. “I’ve
never done that before. Oh god, I’ve never cum like
that or had an orgasm that good in my life.”

“No,” Susan replied, “you ejaculated much like a man
does, but just not as thick. Here, taste it and tell me
what you think.”

Before Elaine could respond, Susan had her mouth over
top of Elaine’s and had her tongue half way down
Elaine’s throat.

Elaine had momentarily forgotten about her situation
and was kissing Susan back as hard as she could,
fighting to get her own tongue inside of Susan’s mouth.

This went on for several minutes before Susan finally
pulled away. “So what do you think so far Elaine,”
Susan asked. “Is it as bad as you thought it would be?”

Elaine wasn’t sure exactly how to reply. “That was
incredible, I just wish you would untie me so I could
enjoy it all the more.”

“I don’t think we are quite ready for that just yet,”
Susan answered, but we will see how well you behave in
the morning.

Elaine and Susan both were exhausted. It had been a
long day at work, a long drive up to the cabin, and an
even longer night once there at the cabin. Susan pulled
out a pair of handcuffs with a short chain attached to
them and attached on end to Elaine’s right wrist and
the other end to the bedpost. Susan then removed all of
the other restraints from Elaine and the bed.

“I still don’t quite trust you,” Susan told Elaine. “I
am removing the restraints so you can sleep
comfortably, but I still need to keep you handcuffed to
the bed so you don’t cause me any more trouble. If you
continue to behave, I think you have seen how good
things can be between us, maybe tomorrow we get lose
the restraints all together. Let’s both get some sleep,
we are going to have a big day tomorrow.”

Susan left Elaine in her room and took a shower before
going to her own room to get some sleep. Little did
Elaine know, all of the cameras were sending pictures
to monitors in Susan’s room. Susan watched for a while
to see if Elaine was going to try to escape. After
watching for a while and seeing Elaine had fallen
asleep, Susan too went to sleep.

Elaine had woken up some time early Saturday morning.
She did not know what time it was, as there was no
clock in the room and Susan had taken off her watch.
She immediately began to try to free herself from her
cuffs, with no luck. Elaine decided the only way to get
out of this was to play along and make her move at just
the right time. Elaine continued to lie in bed, as she
had no other choice until Susan came and freed her.

Susan had woken up shortly after Elaine, but did not
see her attempts to free herself on the monitors. She
thought about watching some of the tapes to see if
Elaine had tried to escape, but decided not to bother.
Elaine was still there and that is all that mattered.

Susan got up and went into the bathroom to pee, brush
her teeth, and wash up, before going in to see Elaine.
Susan had thought about getting dressed, or at least
putting on a bathrobe, but decided not to bother as she
would be getting naked with Elaine soon enough.

Elaine was a little surprised to see Susan walk into
her room still naked. “Well good morning gorgeous,”
Susan greeted Elaine. “Did you have a good night? I
trust you slept well?”

Elaine’s first instinct was to snap at Susan about
sleeping better if she wasn’t chained to the bed, but
thought better of it if her plan to get free was to
work.

“Good morning yourself beautiful,” Elaine began. “I had
a wonderful night and slept better than I have in
years. I am so glad we came up here. Don’t I at least
get a good morning kiss?”

Susan was surprise by Elaine’s response, but had a
feeling she was up to something. Susan decided to play
along and see how things went. If nothing else, it
would be fun.

Susan walked over, sat down on the bed next to Elaine
and gave her a soft kiss on the lips.

“Please forgive me,” Susan said. “Just where are my
manors? How could I not think of giving you a good
morning kiss? I am glad to see your feelings have
changed since last night. I guess you would like to get
up, go to the bathroom, and take a shower.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry about the way I acted last night,”
Elaine began. “It must have been the liquor. I turn
into a total bitch when I start drinking. Can you ever
forgive me? Yes, I really do need to pee and I would
just love to take a shower.”