Port Royale, circa 1682, was one of the worst dens of human scoundrels
ever to fester in the Caribbean. Until it was wiped out by a tsunami ten
years later, this city was the center of classic piracy. That meant there
were whores, daring Captains and plenty of bars. It was a place we had to
stop at during our time travels.
We were drinking at an inn that didn’t bother to have a name when the
incident occurred. Jimmy Hat had led an expedition upstairs to sample the
island girls, Janey was beating some thugs at cards, Maria was serving some
pirates under the table and Virago was once again getting stripped in a bar
by a dashing pirate. I would think that on such a comparatively tame day,
nothing story worthy would happen. That was before I discovered Vickie
Morgan was almost as big a fan of pirates as I was. Two armchair scholars
are more dangerous than an inn full of horny pirates/writers any day.
“You, madam,” I said, because I always get formal when I am pissed,
“have as much knowledge of piracy as your namesake, Henry Morgan, knew
about supply management.”
“Ha! You reveal your ignorance by slighting the first pirate to sack
the city of Panama!” Vickie snapped, slamming her mug on the table.
“That insult doesn’t bother me madam, as I can tell your memory has been
muddled by the gunpowder-laced ale you are drinking!” I mocked as I drank
my bottled water. Call me a pansy, but I took a semester of environmental
health classes. I always bring my own water.
“Listen, you sorry excuse for a colonist,” Vickie growled. “You
yourself have admitted that you learned most of your pirate knowledge from
some stupid computer game. Just because you had a high score on a game
that was run on an Apple IIe is no reason to think you know shit about
pirate history.”
My face burned with anger. I’m damn proud of my ranking in ‘Pirates
Gold!’ and I wasn’t about to take it.
“I wouldn’t need a video game to beat you on the high seas,” I
challenged. “I would have you boarded, defeated and plundered while you
were trying to figure out why the compass arrow kept moving!”
I went too far there. Vickie is a rather intelligent woman, cursed with
awesome looks. The one thing she hates the most is for people to see her
lovely dark hair and flashing eyes and assume that she’s just a beauty
queen with no brain to speak of. I could tell by the squinting she was
giving me that she had something evil planned for that last crack I made.
“Louie!” she yelled. Get out from under Souvie’s skirt and come over
here!”
Souvie appeared at our table, and Vickie’s hand shot out and dragged
Louie out by the collar.
“Shon and I are going to have a duel of pirate ships. Go arrange it!”
Vickie commanded.
“What the fuck?” Louie said. “Go out and go play in the water if you’re
going to do something that daft!”
“I don’t think so, you little smeg. Shon’s wish was that you would
‘take all who wish to come on a guided, SAFE, fun tour through time. I say
that I’m not having much fun unless I get a chance to kick Shon’s smug ass
in a game of dueling pirate ships.” Vickie dropped him after her speech,
and I realized that she had a good point.
“I can’t just conjure up two ships on a whim,” Louie complained.
“Just use the Fantasy Train,” Vickie offered, a smile breaking on her
lips. “You said it can shapeshift. Why can’t two of the cars change into
boats for our use.”
“We’ll need sloops,” I offered, not believing how quickly I had latched
on to Vickie’s brilliant idea. “Anything larger would just draw
attention.”
“I just want to be sure Louie doesn’t forget the crews, we’ll look silly
out on boats by ourselves,” Vickie said. She was trying even now to best
me.
“Crew? Where am I going to get a crew? It was hard enough staffing the
Fantasy Train,” Louie whined.
“Liar,” Vickie said sweetly. “The crew is simply parts of the Fantasy
Train, shapeshifted and moving around on its own.”
Louie’s foot stamped on the table, and I pounded the table as well. Of
course! That explained that wooden expression they had on their faces, and
why they slept with anyone who asked! Vickie was way ahead of me here.
I’m just relieved no one got splinters.
“Fine, fine!” Louie snarled. “Tomorrow morning, you’ll have your duel.
It’ll be two sloops, with fully loaded crews. Fight till dawn if you must,
the magic will last that long. Hell, kill each other’s crew, they’ll be
back to work in no time.”
“Good, one last condition,” Vickie purred. “Tonight we’ll go over our
crews with you, so that we have EXACTLY what we want for tomorrow.”
“What exactly are we playing for?” Louie asked. “I mean, is this a duel
to the death?”
“Of course not, we’ll simply fight till one is captured,” I answered.
“We just need to settle on a wager.”
“That’s easy, the old pirates used to risk life and limb,” Vickie
answered. “I suggest we wager our bodies, to be used at the other’s
discretion. That is, if you’re not afraid of being at the mercy of little
me?”
“Sure,” I answered bravely. “It’s a deal,”
Louie scowled at us, but he knew he had to agree. Vickie took him down
to the harbor and got to work immediately on her ship. I sat back at the
inn, realizing that I just foolishly challenged one of the most creative
writers in the group to a duel of ships. Hell! I didn’t even have a
computer to practice with either!
When the sun had fallen, the pirates were snoring on the floor and even
Jimmy was collapsed in a heap of busty Caribbean beauties, Louie finally
came by to grant me my ship. He was limping, and his face was extremely
drawn, but he waved off my concerns when I asked him. Apparently, Vickie
can be a hard taskmaster, and had made outrageous demands on him. Louie
didn’t say much on the walk to the harbor, and I almost felt sorry for the
little lying shit.
A sloop waited for me at the dock, and I whistled in appreciation.
Fine, polished wood and crisp bright sails told me I had a wonderful
example of a ship. Cannons adorned the sides, and I asked Louie if that
wasn’t a bit dangerous for a friendly duel.
“Nay,” he sighed. “Mrs. Morgan was quite strict about the cannonballs
missing human flesh. You could riddle the ship, and never get a freaking
splinter!” Louie seemed deeply disappointed.
“Why are there mannequins on the deck?” I asked.
“Those are your crew, in their natural state,” Louie answered. “I take
it you want the standard crew?”
“Wait, they can be anything?” I said with a gleam in my eye.
“Damn, another long night,” Louie grumbled.
It was eight in the morning, and my quarry was nowhere in sight. The
wind was coming from the Northeast and my excellent crew was keeping us at
a perfect forty-five degree angle to it. I breathed in the salt air and
sighed. The moment was so perfect, I wished I had brought my camera. The
maiden voyage of the “Phoenix” was off to a fine start.
“Captain, I have a question,” my medical officer said. She was in the
middle of cutting my toenails in my cabin.
“Yes, Medical Officer Twain?” I said.
“Why is the ship named the Phoenix? Isn’t that Greek?” Shania asked as
she worked. The best part of her job was the view I was getting of her
cleavage.
“Yes it is, but it’s also the name of the spaceship of my favorite
cartoon when I was a kid,” I answered. “On the cartoon, the ship would
burst into flames at the climax of every episode, burning its way through
any monster. When I was little, I knew that if I ever owned any ship of my
own I would have to call it the Phoenix.”
The hands stopped moving. “Don’t you think it’s bad luck to name a ship
after something that catches on fire?” she asked.
“I think that’ll be all for now, Medical Officer Twain. I’m going to
check with First Mate Gellar now,” I said as I left. I hate it when
constructs do more thinking than I do.
I passed by Helmswoman Lawless, and adjusted her uniform. Her leather
bikini top was okay, but I felt her cut-off shorts were too long. Lucy
stood there patiently while I shortened her shorts with her knife. Of
course, this also provided me with way too many gropes of those fine,
muscled thighs, but the Helmswoman didn’t complain. Damn, it’s good to be
the Captain.
“Any sight of our enemy, Buffy?” I asked the First Mate.
“No, and please call me First Mate Gellar, or Sarah if you want to use
my first name,” the cute blonde said. When I nodded, she asked, “Shall I
inform Cabin Girl Electra that you’ll be needing another ‘nap’?”
“No,” I answered. “Carmen was fun for the first two hours, but I think
I’ll be needing another cabin girl soon. Besides, I need to save my
strength for when we capture Vickie.”
“Very good, sir,” Gellar answered. “By the way, I was just informed
that Ship’s Cook Locklear has finished another batch of cookies.”
“Hot damn!” I said. “Carry on, Buffy, I’ll be sampling the chocolate
chips!”
Much later in the day, when Crewwoman Berry had finished toweling me off
from my afternoon bath, I heard that a ship had been sighted. Halle helped
me get dressed, and even reminded me of my cutlass before I dashed up the
deck. There I found my well-trained and skimpily dressed crew ready for
battle. Our enemy was not what I expected and closing fast.
“Status report, Buffy,” I snapped.
“The ship is named the ‘Dreadnought’, and Captain Vickie has been
spotted on the deck,” she quickly reported. “The ship is completely
modern, complete with winches, pulleys and other gizmos I can’t begin to
identify. The mast is over three hundred feet tall, and you would not
believe the speed we saw it come in at. I’ve instructed the port cannons
to be loaded, and everyone has reported for duty. I suggest you finish
tying up the laces on your boots, however, and please stop calling me
Buffy.”
I laced my boots up as quick as possible while I talked to my First
Mate. “Good lord, she’s going to kill us!” I snapped as I watched her ship
get closer. “She has utterly and completely cheated! I think that ship
was built in 1999, at the earliest!”
“What are you going to do Captain,” Buffy asked with a smirk. “Lodge a
formal protest of cheating while she has you dancing on her table?”
I growled and went to look for Helmswoman Lawless. Sure, these gals
looked good, and followed orders, but they lacked experience. It is true
that I was lacking in experience as well– heck I don’t even know how to
swim– but I did possess some skills in navigating. Using the same awesome
piloting skills that allowed me to defeat the Spanish Galleons of Tortuga
in April of 1989, I deftly maneuvered around Vickie’s ship. She had speed,
agility and a cooler looking ship, but in the course of an hour, I finally
got my ship into a firing position.
“Fire!” First Mate Gellar ordered, and eight cannons expelled lead with
a deadly thunder. That’s when an even louder thunder exploded, somewhere
to our starboard side.
“What the fuck?” I yelled, as pieces of my ship exploded upwards around
me. I ran to the side, and saw that a small submarine was beside us. The
swarthy men aboard the boat were loaded with explosives, and I started
cussing louder as I recognized Leonardo Da Vinci laughing at me. Then I
cussed louder as I realized Vickie had distracted me for the past hour from
her real attack.
“Captain! Good news, we have hit their sails!” reported Buffy. “Shall
we fire another broadside at them?”
“Fuck no!” I yelled. “We’re missing about a fourth of our ship and my
ears are still ringing! Those damn cannons are too fucking loud! Shit,
I’m never going to be able to listen to my CD’s ever again!”
Gritting her teeth, my lovely First Mate said, “We’ll be boarding her
then, I assume. Shall you be leading the charge?”
“No Buffy. Put Second Mate Madonna in charge, and follow me to my
cabin,” I said grimly.
“Really sir, this isn’t the time for this,” Buffy sighed. “And could
you please call me Sarah?”
“Trust me Buffy, Vickie isn’t the only one who knows how to cheat.”
My crew valiantly prepared to be boarded, while Buffy and I ran to my
cabin. Cabingirl Electra was there, and I ordered her to bolt the door.
Outside, we could hear the slaughtering begin, as the sounds of a hundred
pissed off men vibrated through the ship. I was calm though, because I had
my secret chest pulled out, and I was arming myself as fast as possible.
“What is all this stuff?” Carmen asked.
I didn’t get turned on to the whole pirate fetish by watching old pirate
movies,” I answered. “I was intrigued by pirates from all sorts of media.
Comic books, cartoons, science fiction movies, all contributed towards my
interest. As a kid, I just thought of pirates as any man who makes his
living on a ship. That includes explorers, smugglers, and of course,
handsome hero types who battle weird monsters. It wasn’t till I was a
teenager that I knew what a REAL pirate was.”
“This personal history is touching, but shouldn’t we be out there
fighting?” Buffy asked.
“Well, you see, Buffy, this box is my personal history. When Louie
offered to make me a ship, I created a ship that played by the rules of the
game. Once he created a dazzling beautiful crew, I realized he could make
just about anything. So for fun, I had him make other items that I had
played with in my other pirate fantasies.”
I picked up a black tube, and Carmen’s face scrunched up as she tried to
think.
“What good is a flashlight going to do us?” she asked.
I flipped the switch and a familiar blue glow emitted from the tube.
Damn, even down to the hum it was perfect.
“Not a flashlight, but a lightsaber,” I said.
“Jesus!” Buffy said as she jumped. “Careful with that, you’ll lose an
arm.”
“Nope,” I said. I touched the blue edge. “Louie assured me that none
of the weapons will harm human flesh. All I feel is a tingle. But that’s
not what our enemies will feel. Suit up, girls, there’s a plenty of
weapons of mass destruction for everybody.
The girls barely had enough time to pick up a handful of weapons when we
felt a battering of the door. Carmen was already equipped with Gauntlets
of Ogre Strength
flying door knocked down the first two sailors and the rest stood there
dumbly, trying to figure out how such a skinny, top heavy woman was able to
do such a feat. That gave Buffy plenty of time to cut them down with a
burst from her gyro rifle
The three of us ran out onto the deck, where the massacre was in full
swing. Vickie’s men were garbed in all different sort of clothing. Half
of them wore Ancient Greek costumes, and the other half wore classic pirate
clothing. I recognized the classic pirates. Blackbeard had set his beard
on fire and Captain Kidd was hanging in the back, like the coward he was.
The fictional pirates were even easier to identify. Captain Hook bore a
resemblance to Dustin Hoffman, while Long John Silver was hobbling around,
looking just like he did when I saw him on ‘Treasure Island.’
Vickie’s pirates were doing a good job of fighting, but the other half
of her crewmembers were supicouisly wrestling with my girls. It took me
awhile to realize who they were, but luckily the Kevin Sorbo clone gave
them away. She had the freaking crew of the Argonaught! I wouldn’t be
surprised if she threw in Ulysses for good measure. Oh well, that was her
mistake, as the Greek sailors seemed far more interested in taking captives
than fighting.
“Watch out Captain!” Buffy yelled. She tossed a vorpal dagger
who was sneaking up on me. Looking down, I recognized Henry Morgan. That
bitch! Vickie tried to kill me off with the pirate I respected the least!
“Carmen, Buffy, let’s go kick some antiquated ass!” I yelled as I
charged into the fray.
“Call me Sarah!” was my First Mate’s battle cry as she sprayed
suppressive fire into the crowd. Carmen didn’t have a battle cry; even if
she did, it would have been lost in the sound of her web grenades
My lightsaber bisected Hercules, which was just as impressive as it
sounded. Some Greek threw a club at me, but my Amulet of Missile
Protection
lightsaber, and the offending Greek’s head flew off, his knife still
clenched in his teeth. Some hotshot from Vickie’s army was swinging
overhead from a conveniently placed rope, which really annoyed me because I
was hoping to do that first. I threw my chakram
crashing to the deck. All in all, I was kicking some facsimile ass.
My crew was rallied by my appearance, and they circled around me as I
devastated the other crew unfairly. My ship was steadily sinking, so we
took the battle to the ‘Dreadnought.’ It was when Crewwoman Lopez took a
sword blow for me in her butt that I saw my dread opponent. Vickie was on
the upper deck, yelling orders at her men in that sexy British accent of
hers. She had a flowing white shirt and these really sexy tight black
leather pants. The gold buckle was a bit much, I thought, but who was I to
criticize? Decimating burly men with superior technology was fun, but it
was time to end this.
I charged up the steps, swinging my lightsaber like it was a fan. Limbs
went flying as her men tried to stop me, and I was grateful these
constructs didn’t bleed. Stepping on arms was bad enough, but I think
having blood on the deck would border on icky.
“Really, Vickie,” I said as I finally meet my enemy on the deck.
“Naming your ship ‘Dreadnought’, it seems so. . .so . . .butch.”
“It’s better than naming my ship after a bird that catches fire,” Vickie
retorted as her blade met mine.
Well, some of her blade met mine. The small part that did meet
disintegrated, and the rest of the sword went flying. Vickie still had a
nasty piece of her sword left, so it wasn’t over yet. This was when a
major tactical error on my part came to life; I suck at swordplay.
Vickie, however, was like the female Second Coming of Basil Rathbone.
With half a sword, and the knowledge that my lightsaber kicked ass, Vickie
deftly attacked me, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do to protect
myself. She shredded my tight shiny pants, flicked off the bright silver
buckles from my shoes and perforated my dashing white shirt.
My lightsaber wasn’t useless, but it wasn’t exactly helpful. I slashed
at Vickie, not even remembering that it couldn’t hurt her. A frantic swing
with my lightsaber nailed Vickie from shoulder to waist. It didn’t harm
her, but it toasted her shirt. To my unexpected delight, I had just sliced
Vickie’s shirt open!
Vickie snarled at me, and pressed her attack, but my morale had
significantly improved. I’m something of a breast man, and Vickie’s
delectable breasts were cheering my spirits. I really enjoyed the way her
breasts bounced as she fought, especially when she kept flopping out of the
remains of her shirt. I considered trying to get a taste, but I didn’t
think it would be in the spirit of the duel. Heedless of her sword, I
launched a flurry of attacks with the sole purpose of stripping my
opponent. A few slashes at her upper thighs, a well placed blow at her
buttocks, and a bunch of blows at her tattered shirt unwrapped Vickie in an
entertaining manner. Sure, her crew was wiping mine out, but at least I
was getting some cheesecake out of it.
Our battle of mutual stripping came to a halt when a mighty blast of
spray erupted from the Dreadnought’s port bow. As I rubbed the water from
my eye, I noticed that the area was darker now, and I figured a cloud must
have passed over a sun. When my eyes were clear, I heard Vickie shriek,
and I instinctively dropped to my knees and ducked. Screams were coming
from all around me, male and female. Perplexed, I lifted my head, and saw
the horror that was upon us.
It was big, big time fucking big. It towered above her ship, and was
vaguely humanoid. That means it had a torso, a million tentacles and an
oddly shaped head. In fact, the head reminded me of the Creature from the
Black Lagoon, only green. The head didn’t look down as its tentacles
grabbed members of both our crews at random; that was my second clue. It
would then drop our crew into his mouth, not even bothering to swallow.
The third clue I had was the shamrocks that were growing from a tentacle
that swiped at me.
“Damn you Louie!” I yelled. “You’re fucking with another one of my
bets!”
I looked around for my opponent, and spotted Vickie wriggling in the
clutches of the sea monster. She was being lifted up really fast and
screaming her head off the entire time. Vickie put up a good fight,
hacking at the tentacle with a fury before she dropped her sword. I
grumbled to myself as I recalled Vickie telling me once she was terribly
afraid of heights. The poor girl must be scared out of her wits. Worse,
she was heading right for the maw of the terrible sea beast.
“Shit, I’m just as scared of heights as she is,” I grumbled to Buffy.
The girl was cowering with me behind a barrel.
“Look on the bright side, maybe we can swim away and be the winners by
default?” Buffy said.
“No, Buffy, it’s not that simple,” I said as I double-checked the tag on
my boots.
“Call me Sarah, you shithead!” Buffy snapped, but I ignored her.
“I’m a sore loser Buff, I mean Sarah,” I said as I stood up. “No damn
B-movie reject is going to wipe out the only fellow pirate scholar on this
train! I’m going to do something brave and probably get myself killed.
Wait here.”
Before Buffy could stop me, I ran out from my cover. I spoke the
command word for my magic Boots of Anime Leaping
cool synthesizer music began playing, and I’m pretty sure my eyes got
really big and round. I jumped, flying ten feet straight up as a neat
‘bionic man’ sound effect occurred at the same time. I landed perfectly on
a tentacle.
The tentacle had just began to curl in on itself when I was leaping
again. White lines streaked behind me as I jumped to another tentacle.
Since this one had Crewwoman Pheiffer, I sliced at it with my lightsaber,
freeing Michelle. She yelled her appreciation as she plummeted into the
ocean, but my attention was caught by the tentacle stump. It was a clean
cut, with no blood. I breathed a sigh of relief.
It’s one thing to GUESS that it’s another Train construct, it’s a huge
relief to SEE that it was. I would have hated to have been killed by an
actual Caribbean Sea Monster.
Leaping from tentacle to tentacle, I ascended the monster. Thankfully
the boots always made sure I landed on my feet, as well as providing a
really bitching soundtrack to my moves. Tentacles tried to block me, but
my lightsaber cleared the way. My own fear of heights was threatening to
cripple me, as it was hard to jump with your eyes closed. Fortunately I
saw Vickie’s struggling nearly nude form, and it gave me something to focus
on. Sex is always a great fear reducer.
Vickie was the next to be dropped into the monster’s mouth, but I got
there in the nick of time. The boots are funny that way, they tend to wait
till the most dramatic moment to get me somewhere. Knowing I couldn’t hurt
Vickie, I cut loose with a barrage of saber swings on her tentacle. When
she was free, she clung to me, burying her face in my shoulder. My ego
went off the scale, but I reminded myself that it was her phobia that
caused her to act this way, not my dashing and awesome heroics.
It wasn’t over yet. I flipped my lightsaber off, and slipped it into my
pocket. Then I scooped Vickie into my arms and thanked God that I actually
built some muscles at the factory I work at. Bunching my legs up, I gave
the command for the Super-leap to my boots. Instantly we sprang from the
tentacle and traveled fifty feet to the top of the monster’s head. The
entire leap was in slow motion, which can really fuck with you when you
have that much time to look down.
On top of the monster’s pointy head, I flicked my trusty lightsaber back
on. One quickly carved hole later, I peeked into the monster’s skull. My
hunch was right– Louie was sitting inside, operating one killer joystick.
I pulled Vickie into the control room with me, nabbing Louie with my other
hand. The wee bastard never saw me coming.
“What’s your excuse this time, Louie?” I asked as I held the kicking
bastard at arm’s reach.
“It’s not like you guys signed a contract or anything, I figured the
duel was an open challenge!” he yelled defiantly.
“A sea monster isn’t what we discussed in the bar!” I snapped as I shook
him violently. Vickie was curled up on the floor, breathing hard from the
scare she got. I shook Louie some more.
“Quit it!” Louie screamed. “A modern ship equipped with a mini-sub
wasn’t what we discussed in the bar either!”
“True, but Vickie is a friend, which you are not,” I said. “Enough of
this arguing. This is the third time I’ve caught you, so this will make it
my third wish. I wish that I am declared the winner of this contest.
Pretty simple, huh?”
Louie snapped his fingers, and the next thing I knew, I was back on the
deck of the Dreadnought. Around me, I saw the remnants of my crew. Bound
hand and foot were Vickie’s crew, snarling at the turn of events. To my
delight, and apparently to Louie’s surprise, he was tied up as well. I
guess he forgot that since he barged into our game, he now counted as a
loser. Right beside me, Vickie was bound too. I reached down to take the
gag out of her mouth.
“Not a bad fight,” I said as I watched my ship finish it’s sinking below
the waves.
“How can you say that you won if your ship is sinking under the water?”
she asked.
I stuffed her gag back in her mouth, and watched as she struggled.
“I think I proved my point,” I said. “Buffy, give me a status report!”
“Buffy got eaten by the sea monster,” Crewwoman Anderson reported.
“Plus, I think she would rather be called Sarah, Captain.”
“Damn, it was a harsh battle, Gillian,” I said in reflection. “Oh well,
we’re still alive. Send my prisoner to her quarters and I’ll claim my
prize there.”
Gillian ordered two of our remaining girls to carry the bound Vickie to
my new Captain’s quarters. There was just one last thing to do before I
could retire for the day. I had to deal with the issue of the prisoners.
“We’ve got about fifty men, and only sixteen members of our crew left.
Oh, and a leprechaun,” Gillian reported.
“Hmm, Louie, as the winner, I demand you go wash everyone’s laundry on
the Train. Plus, you are not to use magic. That’ll keep you busy,” I
said.
After Louie flipped me the bird and vanished, I turned to my valiant
crew. “That’s about three men for every woman. Think you can keep them
busy?” I asked, knowing perfectly well that I requested a nymphomaniac
crew.
Don’t worry about us, Captain. You go collect your wager, we’ll be fine
here,” Gillian said.
She literally pushed me towards my quarters. I took her subtle hint,
and went to Vickie’s old chambers. She was bound and lying on the floor,
so I had to step over her to reach the bed. I was expecting maybe a bunk,
or a hammock, but Vickie had a nice four poster bed! The gal just refused
to rough it. At the lavish bed, I promptly collapsed.
Vickie tried to say something through her gag, so I leaned over and
popped the gag out of her mouth.
“You know, if I can move your body around, and gag you at my pleasure, I
have to say that it looks like I won,” I said.
“All right, I admit you won, now can you quit with the gag?” she said.
“Fine, make yourself comfortable,” I said. “I think I’m going to take a
well deserved rest.”
“What? You won and you’re sleeping?” she asked.
“Yep. For some reason, I’m tired after slaughtering half your crew and
carving up a sea monster. I did have some plans involving mirrors and a
suspension swing, but now I’m too tired to even stand.”
She was silent for a moment, and then she let out a long sigh. “Well,
you could untie me and let me do all the work. I don’t want you thinking
that I welshed on our bet.”
I chuckled, “No one could accuse you of being a sore loser. Really,
Vee, I enjoyed the fight. I had no intention of collecting on my bet with
a married woman.”
She growled. “Look, you git. You tore through my crew, took my ship
despite having your own get sunk, and rescued me from a sea monster. Now
is not the time to be protecting my chastity. Untie me, and collect your
reward!”
Damn, I couldn’t argue with that. I rolled off the bed, and tried to
undo the knots on her rope. When I remembered that I had to get my wife to
untie the knots in my shoes, I resorted to my trusty lightsaber. A few
passes and the rope was shredded.
“That tingled,” Vickie said as she wriggled out of her ropes. “We’re
definitely going to have to use that later. Now strip down and get into
bed. We only have till dawn.”
I never refuse a request to strip down, so I complied. It was easy, my
shirt and shiny pants were tattered and fell off with a little
encouragement. I kicked my shoes to the corner, and fell into bed with a
grin that threatened to crack my face.
Vickie was true to her word, and undressed at the same time I did. At
5’7″, she was a delight to watch as she shimmied out of the remains of her
leather pants. Rather than unbutton her shirt, she merely pulled at it,
ripping the last shreds off. She ran her hands through the unruly curly
black mess that was her hair, and managed to get a full erection out of me
with that action alone.
“Roll over onto your stomach,” Vickie commanded. I complied,
immediately. Without her translating name badge, her accent was stronger,
and even more exotic. Amazing how much energy I can find when commanded by
a nude beauty.
She straddled my buttocks, pressing my growing erection into the bed
beneath me. I felt her fingers dig into the muscles on my shoulders, and I
sighed happily. My back was covered in knots, as apparently fighting giant
monsters tend to tense me up. Vickie rubbed my back like a professional
masseuse, not that I would know what that felt like.
“Wow, Vee, I’m warming up to this idea after all,” I said as she worked
a rough spot out of my lower back.
She grumbled something and I didn’t care that I missed what she said. I
was drifting into dreamland from her massage when Vickie did something that
woke me right up. I felt her legs shift on my waist as she leaned down on
top of me. My cock returned to full attention as I felt the points of her
nipples graze the skin of my back. Her breath was on my neck, which made
sense considering that as small as her breasts were, she had to be pretty
close for me to feel her nipples. It’s thoughts like those that made me
begin to sweat.
I felt her hands on my elbows, pinning me to my prone position. Soft
kisses fell on my neck, soothing the goosebumps that were rising on my
skin. The gentle rocking of the ship was a preview of motions to come.
I would say more, but the rest of the story can be considered Captain’s
privilege.