Snow White xxx parody

The seven dwarfs all left for the mine early in the
morning; they all went off whistling ready for the brand
new day. Let me tell you why.

My name is Snow White, and I had a bitch of a step-mom but
she really was a looker. She was twenty-four years old,
about five foot seven inches tall, she always wore a low
cut gown to showoff her ample cleavage and the rest of her
body matched perfectly. Her face was sweet and beautiful to
behold and the men in waiting never took their eyes off
her.

She was queen, which meant she had to do the king, and do
him she did, she started his clock running every morning
with a hum job that left him dazed for most of the day. If
he started to recover his wits later in the afternoon,
she’d drag him back to the sack for a nooner which she
enjoyed every bit as much as he. One day she did the old
man three times before lunch, he swayed as he walked to the
banquet hall for dinner that night, and that was before his
pint or two of grog that he had with the dukes and earls
every night after supper.

Well as you can probably imagine the old man didn’t have a
lot of say about how the kingdom was run day to day
anymore. Not that the witch, I mean bitch of a step-mother
the queen could start a war or anything but she pretty much
got anything that her black little heart desired. Oh, she
desired lots too, from the Lord High Butler, to the stable
boys who she usually took two or three at a time, because
you can’t get too much of a good thing, she’d always say.

Anytime you wandered anywhere around the castle, you had a
good chance of hearing muffled moans coming from a linen
closet, squeals of delight from the hay loft, or lately,
cries of joy coming from the wizards tower. One time I
walked into the dinning hall mid-afternoon — she had her
ass in the air with a butler humping her from behind while
she had her head under the young French maid’s short
uniform skirt. After seeing the size of the butler’s
equipment I knew why they were called staff.

The old wizard was a particular favorite because recently
he’d given dear old mum a magic mirror. The damn thing
first did her make-up for her then announced, “Who was the
choicest bit in the land? Always her of course. Except one
time it said it was this fairy from another town. Well he
rued the day, she sent half the army after the guy, and at
first he didn’t mind though they were all on shore leave or
something. However he got the idea when they tried to make
him taller. Well he nearly died on that rack, and he wasn’t
half as attractive after they cut his ears off. That mirror
was also the cause of all my troubles.

See I was sixteen, in fact on my sixteenth birthday the
mirror did the same favor for me as the gay deaf guy. The
wicked old bitch got up in the morning had the mirror fix
her face and then started the questions. “Oh, mirror,
mirror on the wall who do the men most want to ball?”

Son of a bitch the stupid mirror blurts out, “Snow White.”

The boys had been sniffing around me quite a bit of late I
developed early and just keep on developing, so I was used
to turning a few heads whenever I stepped out of the
castle. But that is a far as it went, except once I had
frenched an earl’s son and he had groped my breasts but
that boy never even felt bare tit so I was pure as snow
thus the name I guess.

Anyway mom went into a rage, she knew that dad would never
do anything to hurt me, hell every time I saw him for the
past couple of months he got a woody, so she plotted to
have me killed. She called in her favorite huntsman; she
had taken him to the bushes a number of times. She
instructed him to take me deep; deep within the enchanted
forest. When he was sure we were far enough away that no
one would ever find a body he was to kill me and cut out my
heart. What the hell she planned to with my heart I’ll
never know. She’s been getting weirder and weirder since
dad started getting those woodies every time I showed up.

The huntsman showed up at my door, he’s a big tall really
handsome French guy named Gaston, no that’s not right,
that’s Beauty and the Beast. I think his name was Jean-
Pierre, anyway his name isn’t important he’s this big tall
hunk who I had been thinking about every night when I go to
bed, with those evil fingers of mine. Every night I’d tell
those fingers you just remain calm, no itching or
scratching or tickling yourself tonight, it’s a big sin.
I’ve always tried to be a good girl, but I can tell you
those fingers they’re without a doubt going to hell, one
sin after another they commit.

Jean-Pierre didn’t have to ask me twice if I would like to
learn how to hunt. I am a vegetarian but am not opposed to
all types of meat, if you know what I mean. I literally ran
to the stable where our horses were waiting saddled and
provisioned for a long day. It being my sweet sixteen
birthday and all, I kind of figured maybe Jean-Pierre was a
present from one of my parents, I hoped so at least, I am
sure he is the kind of gift every young princess wants.

Well we rode for many hours twisting our way through the
enchanted forest, I rode close behind him not speaking too
much, I didn’t want him to think I was one of those young
girls who just had to chatter away just to hear herself
speak.

Besides as I watched those broad shoulders and muscular
back I fantasized, him ravishing me on the blanket he
spreads out for lunch. My dainty little ass was starting to
feel spanked, while I rode most everyday I didn’t usually
ride this long, so I was thrilled when he called for a
break.

We settled down the horses in the shade of the forest and
spread our blanket in a sunny clearing. I got the basket of
bread and cheese from my saddlebags while Jean-Pierre got a
couple of bottles of wine from his. We were both quiet as
we ate our bread, and I was shy and nervous hoping
something would happen, but afraid too.

I had watched a few times, and I wanted to get in the game
but I was still a rookie and had butterflies flitting
through my stomach. Jean-Pierre seemed preoccupied, and was
swilling the wine rather swiftly. After my third glass I
had enough courage to ask him what was wrong.

He laughed and apologized, saying he was worried about
something that he had wanted to ask me. I said well better
get it out, and he asked me if he could kiss me, he told me
that my ruby lips damp from the wine looked so perfect that
he just wanted to taste them.

I told him by all means sir taste my lips, well we got to
kissing for a while and I was starting to get pretty hot, I
mean my fingers wanted to roam. He stroked my long blond
hair then he asked if he might just look at a bare breast
because they looked so perfect it seemed a crime that they
should be hidden so.

I tell him by all means that it is so warm here in the
sunny glade I would like to bare my breasts for him. I
don’t know how he saw them with his mouth attached first to
one nipple then the other, maybe he has eyes in his hands
because they were all over me.

I’m moaning and aching for more now, when finally he says
we have ridden so long perhaps your royal bottom is sore
and could use some soothing salve, which I have here, in my
basket. I’m out of my gown before his hand even reaches the
basket.

The salve is soothing but he’s rubbing it on my behind and
right now that’s not what is on fire, he finally gets
around to dropping his pants so I might salve his behind
for him as he puts it. I load my hands with the gooey stuff
and feast my eyes on this guy’s beautiful ass and massage
his buttcheeks for a few minutes.

Then he turns around and I see that the bulge in his pants
was no fake so I gave that a few strokes of soothing salve,
which doesn’t look like its working. It doesn’t look
soothed at all it looks rather stiff and angry too me. I
give that a few more strokes for good measure then just a
nip or two with my lips before he tells me that he wants me
and he wants me now.

I think “finally,” and a couple seconds later I’m no longer
a virgin.

After a couple of hours not only am I no longer a virgin
but he says I’m more talented then any of the girls that
work the sailor bars back in town. I’m proud of my progress
and wish to make more but he tells me the awful fact of
manhood. No matter how much you may want to after seven or
eight times a man just can’t do it any more.

Well now I understand why dear old step-mom was doing every
guy in the castle, dad could only do this seven or eight
times a day, and I could understand that she wanted it more
than that. But I wondered, ‘if Dad is king he may be able
to do it more then one of his subjects.’

I had just had the greatest birthday of my life, I wanted
it to continue but the huntsman was through, he really
looked a little haggard. That’s when he told me the story
about the mirror my mother and our little trip to the
woods.

Needless to say, I was scared, but Jean-Pierre assured me
that my heart was not traveling back to the palace with him
but neither could I go back. Even if I went back and told
my dad what had happened it was only Jean-Pierre’s word
against my fathers favorite blowjob. So that being the case
I would have to accept banishment, and Jean-Pierre would
have to go back with some kind of heart for my evil step-
mom other wise she might send out someone to hunt us both
down.

So it was decided that I should gather the rest of our food
and the blanket and ride a little deeper into the forest,
Jean-Pierre would get more provisions and meet me tomorrow
at a clearing about an hours further ride into the forest
from here.

That was the last time I ever saw him, although I’m sure
that he came back looking for me the next day and many days
after that, because the dwarfs told me he did.