Joining the army wasn’t always my main ambition as a
child. Like most young boys, when I was a kid I always
wanted to be a professional footballer, pop star or
Hollywood actor. The only problems I encountered were
the fact that I’m no good at football, can’t sing to
save my life and have about as much chance of becoming
an actor as I have of getting pregnant – zilch!
So eventually I decided on a career in the armed
forces. Let’s face it, travelling around the world,
legally being able to carry a weapon (and fire it) and
being paid for the privilege can’t be bad, can it?
Anyway, to cut a long story short (ooh, Jesus,
flashback to the 80s and Spandau Ballet!) I joined up
and chose to join the Royal Military Police regiment.
My brother used to be in the RMP and had told me many
great stories about his time with them, although before
I joined I figured that they were just a figment of his
imagination – how wrong I was!
It all started on a fairly normal day. There I was,
stood on the parade ground with my sergeant shouting
obscenities into my ear hole and calling me a nancy-
boy! A great bloke, my sergeant! Anyway, as the day
went on I got assigned to guard duty. Fucking great, I
thought. I get to spend all day stood at the gate to
our barracks in the fucking pouring rain! Just what I
joined up for!
And then, just when I thought my day couldn’t get any
worse, up popped my sergeant again.
“I’ve got some good news for you, Lance Corporal,” he
said, handing me a piece of paper. “You’re being
Great! Just when I was beginning to enjoy standing
there in the freezing cold, getting completely soaked!
“Oh right,” I said, taking the piece of paper.
“You’re a lucky man,” he said, with a somewhat envious
look. “You’re being transferred to the protection
He then set about explaining what was happening. I was
basically going to be playing babysitter to some up
themselves celebrity. They’d apparently been receiving
death threats and their agent was taking them
seriously. Rather than hiring some minders of their
own, they’d decided, under the circumstances, it would
better to get some official help – and who better than
I immediately had visions of some over the hill actor
or sports star, who’d planned the whole thing himself
just to get a bit of publicity to kick-start his
flagging career. As yet, no one had told me whom it was
I’d be protecting.
I got my gear together and was then briefed on
professional etiquette whilst protecting a so-called
‘star’! I was still in the dark as to who it was. Soon
enough I was being whisked away in a helicopter to a
destination as yet unknown to me.
We were soon setting down on what looked like a hotel;
where I was told this particular celebrity was staying.
It was only then I was told whom I was protecting. I
couldn’t believe it! No washed up actor or sports star.
It was none other than Britney Spears! Now I know what
you’re thinking (yeah right, what a load of bull!) but
I swear that every word is true – just as true as me
being responsible for the invention of the light bulb!
She was in England to promote her new single or
something; to be honest I’d stopped listening. All I
could think of was the fact that I was going to get to
meet Britney Spears!
After being introduced to her, I was told what was
expected of me – to put it in its most basic wording, I
was expected to die in the pursuit of protecting this
goddess of the pop world. No problem, I thought. We all
have to die sometime. It’s amazing the effect a young,
pretty, sexy, and not to mention successful female has
on the male psyche! Again I missed most of what was
said; I was too busy staring at Britney’s…well, bits!
Unfortunately, she caught me staring a little too
intently at them! But to my surprise, all she did was
blush and give me a little sexy smile. Maybe she was
attracted to uniforms? I fucking well hoped so!
Later that night I was surprised even further by the
fact that I was going to have to stay in her hotel room
with her. Now that’s what I call close personal
protection! I was a little gob smacked as you might
expect. One minute there I was, stood at the entrance
to an army barracks in the pouring rain with nothing to
look forward to except a long hard day stood there like
a lemon! And the next, I’m in Britney Spears hotel room
– with no danger of being arrested for the privilege!
The day was certainly turning for the better.
The only problem I now had was what exactly do you say
to a world famous pop star? She would have no doubt
heard all the corny chat up lines in the book, as well
as a couple that aren’t even in the book probably! It
was like a dream. I was sat just feet away from Britney
Spears. She looked even better in the flesh than she
did on the TV. Again my eyes immediately focused on her
breasts. And a bloody nice pair they were too! Implants
or not, I couldn’t have cared less, the fact is they
were just as good as I’d imagined all those times late
at night when I used to… well, that’s another story
Suddenly the silence was broken.
“You’ve got a habit of doing that,” she said, scaring
me half to death.
“What?” I asked as innocently as I could, although the
answer was obvious.
“Oh, you know!”
She again looked at me with a little sexy smile. I
could feel myself beginning to blush and looked away.
“Err, sorry about that.”
“Don’t worry about it. As seen as though you’re here to
protect me, I guess you’re entitled to some perks of
the job!” she giggled and winked at me.
Now to me this was beginning to become a little too
surreal. Things like that just don’t happen to me. But
sure enough, there I was sat in a hotel room with
Britney Spears – alone! And, it may just have been my
imagination, but it seemed like she was chatting me up!
Her easygoing manner made me feel a lot more at ease. I
managed to calm down slightly and for the next half an
hour or so we chatted away like old friends. Not about
anything specific, we just chatted; from the weather
(how corny can you get?!) to our private lives. We were
getting along like life long buddies! Eventually she
decided to take a shower.
“Want some company?” I jokingly asked.
She didn’t reply. She just looked at me and gave me
that sexy little smile, and seemed to blush slightly.
Oops, maybe I over stepped the mark? She didn’t
“I’ll be back soon. Why don’t you order us some supper
from room service?” she said, before going into the
bathroom and shutting the door.
I’ll do just that, I thought. Along with a bottle of
wine…or two! Not that I was going to try and get her
drunk, you understand! Goodness me, no! That would be
entirely against my professional ethics. I was there to
protect the poor girl from nutters and psychos… you
know, people like me! No, there was absolutely no way
that I was going to try and get the most famous pop
star in the world today drunk just so I could have my
wicked way with her. Although…
I picked up the telephone and called down to reception.
Just then I heard a blood-curdling scream from within
the bathroom, followed by cries for help. Oh fuck, I
thought, some nutter’s managed to get in and has
attacked her. I leapt to my feet and drew my sidearm
before rushing to the bathroom. I tried the door – it
was locked. Of course it’d be locked, you fucking
dickhead, I thought. One of the sexiest women on the
planet was in there! And the last thing she’d want was
me walking in on her whilst she was taking a shit!
Suddenly there was another piercing scream, followed by
the cry for help, only this time it sounded even more
pitiful than the first occasion. I couldn’t waste any
more time. I took a step back and lunged forcefully at
the door. It gave way easily and I came crashing down
on top of it as it hit the floor. I quickly got to my
feet, raised my weapon (not that, you dirty minded
bastard! My sidearm!) and scanned the room… nothing!
Just Britney stood against the far wall staring in
horror at the bathtub. I walked over to the bath and
looked in… would you believe it – a spider! Britney
Spears had just taken ten years off my life because of
a little spider… well, actually to be fair, it was
quite a large one… the spider!
It was only then that I noticed what I couldn’t believe
I missed in the first place. She was completely naked.
Britney, the princess of pop, was stood only feet away
from me completely starkers… not a stitch on…
nude… in the buff… oh you get the picture! Well,
what could I do? What the hell do you think I did? I
took in as much of the sight as possible! She really
was gorgeous. Not just in the face, but her whole body.
She was probably as close to perfect as you could ever
find. Her whole body was tanned, from head to toe. Her
large breasts looked amazing. They didn’t sag an inch.
They just hung there, firm and bulging (three cheers
for silicone!). And what a pussy! I wouldn’t have
believed it if I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, but
she really was a natural blonde – take my word for it!
Her tight little patch of pubes were shaved in a V, as
if trying to say, “This way to the promised land!”
There wasn’t an ounce of fat on her. I just wish that
I’d had a camera on me – I could have made a fortune
selling the pics to newspapers and magazines!
Anyway, after I’d stopped perving at her I did the
gentlemanly thing and disposed of the offending
creature. I then handed Britney a towel and apologised
for so obviously enjoying the view! Thankfully she
didn’t make an issue out of it and I then left the
room, picking the door up and jamming it into the
entrance as I left.
I then noticed that the other RMP officer who’d been
standing guard outside the room had finally responded
to the cries for help. A bit fucking late, I thought.
If it had been some gun-wielding maniac we could have
both been dead by now while this sad excuse for an RMP
officer was tugging off in the hallway! Anyway, I kept
my gob shut and explained to him what had happened. He
then left the room – in fits of hysterics!
It was about half an hour later when she finally
emerged from the bathroom. She was wearing only a towel
wrapped around her still wet body. She sat down next to
me and had a quizzical look on her face. After a moment
or two she turned to me.
“I’m sorry about that, Steve. It’s just I’ve got a
really bad phobia of spiders…I hate the little
“It’s no problem,” I said. “That’s what I’m here for.”
“Still, it’s a little embarrassing,” she looked down at
the floor, a look of humiliation covering her face.
“Honestly, it’s not a problem. You’ve got nothing to be
ashamed about. We’re all scared of something,” I
assured her, trying my best to make her feel better.
I bit the bullet and put an arm around her shoulder.
Her head flopped sideways onto my chest and she put an
arm around my waist and hugged me tightly. We just sat
there for the next ten minutes or so in silence,
holding each other. I figured that the main reason she
was so upset had nothing to do with the spider – it was
more than likely, in fact positively, the death threats
that she’d been receiving. Let’s face it, if someone
starts sending you messages that they’re going to kill
you, you do start to… well, shit yourself!
Now what happened next, I promise you I hadn’t planned.
I would never dream of taking advantage of a
frightened, defenceless young lady. But sometimes
The fact was that her towel had come loose slightly,
and being a lot taller than her, I could see straight
down her cleavage. At this point I was beginning to
believe that I might just be a little too obsessed with
her breasts than was healthy for me. But what the hell!
This was Britney Spears and I was going to get as much
of a perv session in as I could!
Just then something strange happened. My being seemed
to be taken over by someone far more confident than
myself. I found myself lowering my head and kissing her
gently. To my amazement she didn’t resist. I then
kissed her more forcefully and again she didn’t resist.
In fact this time she kissed me back with relish, her
mouth opening slightly and before I knew what was
happening we were in the middle of a full-blown snog
We kissed passionately for a few minutes; every now and
then I’d divert attention to her neck, which brought
quiet moans of approval from her lips. By this time I
had what can only be described as an iron hard cock! I
decided to see just how far she was willing to let this
go. I slipped a hand under her towel and searched out
her breasts. I could feel her nipples harden as my hand
brushed against them, again bringing moans of delight
from her. I began squeezing and fondling each breast in
turn, convinced that at any moment she’d break the
embrace and say that it was all a mistake. She didn’t.
I now knew that I could take this to its inevitable
conclusion. I stopped kissing her and stood up. My hard
cock had formed a tent in the front of my trousers and
she reached out and stroked it through the fabric. I
leant forward and removed the towel still covering her
body – she didn’t try to stop me, in fact as I did that
she unzipped my flies and pulled out my cock and began
stroking it slowly.
I looked down at her naked body, tanned and still
glistening with water. Just then I had an attack of
conscience. “Are you sure about this?” I asked, hoping
for a positive response.
“Yes,” she whispered and then spread her legs slightly.
“I want you to taste me.”
You don’t have to ask me twice!
I knelt down between her spread legs and could smell
the aroma of arousal. Her pussy was visibly wet and I
reached out and began rubbing her mound with my hand.
She threw her head back and bucked her hips. I took the
hint and lowered my head. I drew my tongue up her
swollen love-lips and she moaned approvingly. She was
so aroused that her clitoris was clearly visible,
poking out like a little rosebud. Slipping two fingers
into her wet entrance I began to finger fuck her whilst
licking and sucking on her swollen little clit. She was
moaning and writhing above me, her hands on the back of
my head gently grinding me into her wet pussy.
I continued to stimulate her with my mouth and fingers
as her breath quickened and moans became more audible.
I sensed she was close to cumming and so quickened the
pace of my fingers and tongue. She suddenly began
bucking her hips wildly and I knew she was on the
“Oh yes! Mmm, I’m cumming… don’t stop! Ohhh!”
I did as instructed and continued my stimulation. She
was trying hard to stifle her moans of pleasure (she
didn’t want to attract the attention of the other RMP
officer who was standing guard outside the room) but it
was all in vain. Suddenly her body shuddered and she
let out a loud succession of moans and inaudible
sentences. I could feel her pussy spasming around the
fingers I had buried deep inside her, and her whole
body seemed to be in convulsions of sheer ecstasy.
When her orgasm had subsided, I removed my clothes. My
cock was still rock hard and aching for some attention.
Britney stared at my hard member approvingly. Now I’m
not going to lie, I’m by no means the biggest bloke in
the world but I’m not small either. She seemed more
than pleased with the 7 inches of hard throbbing flesh
stood to attention in front of her.
She sat up and shuffled across until she was sat right
on the edge of the sofa. She then wrapped her hand
around my length and eased back the foreskin, revealing
my purple, throbbing helmet. She began by flicking her
tongue over the engorged end, to which I let out moans
of delight whilst trying to force my prick between her
She continued to tease the head of my cock with her
tongue as she wanked my shaft and fondled my balls. It
didn’t take long before I felt the onset of my orgasm
building within me – after all, this wasn’t any
ordinary girl playing with my cock, it was Britney
“Britney, stop!” I cried. “You’re gonna make me cum!”
She looked up at me. “That’s the whole point, isn’t
“Well, yeah! But…” she had a point! After all, I’m
sure I’d have no problem getting a second erection,
especially with Britney working her magic on my cock!
“Good point! Carry on!”
That she did. She began taking the head of my cock
between her lips and sucking and licking eagerly whilst
still quickly wanking me off. A few seconds later I
couldn’t hold back any longer. “Oh fuck! I’m cumming!”
She took the first 3 or 4 inches of my cock into her
mouth and held it there as she continued to pump my
meat with her hand. I felt the first jet of cum shoot
from my twitching cock. Britney didn’t even flinch. She
simply held my cock between her lips and continued to
milk my balls. After each jet of cum that shot from me
she moaned approvingly as she swallowed every last drop
of my sticky jism.
Even when my cock had stopped shooting my spunk, she
continued to lick and suck it, seemingly relishing in
the thought that she’d made me cum. I could feel my
cock beginning to deflate between her lips and she
finally relinquished her hold on me.
She looked straight up into my eyes and smiled. A
little of my semen began seeping from her lips and she
quickly sucked it back in and swallowed, a look of pure
satisfaction covering her face.
“You enjoyed that, didn’t you?” she asked knowingly.
I was speechless. I simply nodded my approval. I knew
one thing for sure, though. Contrary to press reports,
she was certainly no virgin!
She still had her hand wrapped around my semi-erect
cock and was still wanking me off slowly. A last
dribble of cum escaped from my prick and she quickly
lowered her head again and licked the head of my cock
I then sat down next to her on the sofa and for the
next ten minutes or so we just sat there, fondling each
other and kissing. Eventually I felt myself harden
again. A look of excited anticipation played across
Britney’s face as she stroked my hardening cock to a
“Ready for some more, are we?” she asked, gripping my
cock firmly and beginning to wank me off again.
Well, what could I do? There was no way I was going to
We spent the rest of the night fucking, sucking and
licking each other like a pair of sex-crazed maniacs…
and it was great!
I never saw her again after that; at the end of her
tour she left for home and I went back to my base. But
I’ll never forget those few hours of sheer ecstasy in
the arms of a pop queen.